Simon Snow and the Starbucks Guy
by Kaigoryu
Summary: YouTuber AU where Baz works at Starbucks and daily vlogs in between customers and Simon's a gamer who's really not that great. (Based of a Tumblr post by fyeahsnowbaz. SnowBaz)
1. The Entertainment Factor

Chapter 1- Simon

 **A/N: This was based off a Tumblr post I liked. I'm not trying to take credit for this idea in any way. The characters belong to Rainbow Rowell.**

"Oh my God, what the fuck is that! _"_

Simon Snow had to work hard not to shove his fist into his computer screen as a terrifyingly-shriveled baby-like creature appeared in the sink for a second time.

A subscriber had suggested he play the new horror game, P.T., and so far he was scared shitless. Simon was starting to regret his policy of playing in the dark during scary games, but he both loved and loathed the thoroughly creeped-out feeling.

"Simon, you should really turn the lights on," Penny, Simon's best friend and roommate, was watching him play, hidden from the camera in the darkness but still commenting every once in a while. "You'll get nightmares again, just like last time, and then I'll have to listen to you complain about always being tired."

Penny's voice came from the couch behind him, and Simon looked for her in the viewfinder. He could see her glasses glint in the light from the screen.

"I'm trying to absorb what's left of the scary atmosphere! Pretty soon people will forget all about Halloween in favor of Thanksgiving, and I'm going to enjoy this for as long as I possibly can!" He maneuvered his avatar back through the door, focusing intently on anticipating the next jumpscare. Simon could practically _feel_ Penny roll her eyes. He decided to ignore it.

* * *

 _"_ _Went for coffee with Agatha, we'll bring you something. -Penny"_

Simon crumpled the sticky note and tossed it at the bin. He had slept in this morning, making up for time lost to the predicted nightmares. He was lucky Penny had left so early, or he would've had to wake up to her "You-brought-this-on-yourself's"and "I-told-you-so's".

Maybe he could use the extra time before she came back to come up with a good argument or a clever comeback… Or he could get on YouTube.

Simon scratched his head as his laptop hummed to life, making his curls even messier than they were when he woke up. He logged into his YouTube account, checking the subscriber count first, like always. As an aspiring YouTuber, he became genuinely excited every time the number went up, even if just by a tiny amount.

The comments on yesterday's video were similar to the comments on all of his other videos. People telling him that he was funny and adorable (he smiled at those), people shipping him with Penny (he found those amusing), and people telling him he was annoying and talentless. (He gave them a Penny-worthy eye-roll.)

He shut the laptop in favor of going back to bed. If Penny wasn't there, there wasn't much point in being awake.

* * *

"Welcome to Starbucks, my name's Baz, how can I help you."

Baz recited the lines he had been using for a year and a half now. They had lost all the feeling that was once behind them, and came out in a monotonous, tired drone.

He nodded as he wrote down the customer's order, if only for the possible tip accompanied. As he moved about, preparing the coffee, he thought about asking the girl out. She seemed average in all physical aspects, and Baz didn't think convincing her to say yes to a date would be all that hard.

Baz sighed. That could never be his life. Girls weren't bad. They were good, actually. Good friends, at least. But none of them were _interesting_.

 _Boys aren't interesting either_ , he supposed, if the entertainment factor were what decided that. No one Baz had ever met was interesting enough to make him want to ask them out. Gender wasn't a problem, he really didn't care who he ended up with.

As long as he _found_ someone… Baz was getting tired of waiting.

He gave the averagely-brown haired girl a tired half-smile and a nod as she left, dropping a dollar in the tip jar on her way out.

With the shop now effectively empty, Baz put in his earbuds and laid his head on the counter, scrolling through his Twitter feed and humming in tune with _Death of a Bachelor_.

 _'Slow day at Starbucks, anyone up for a Q and A?'_ He typed the message and hit enter before closing his eyes and waiting.

Minutes later, responses began popping up.

 _'How's work today?'_

Baz smiled. Small things that let him know people cared were the best.

'It's pretty good today! Slow, like I said, but everyone's been nice so far'

 _'Your funny and hot lol'_

'Not a question but thanks for fueling my ego'

'Do u have a boyfriend or girlfriend?'

Baz frowned. He figured someone would ask that, but he didn't think it'd be this soon... The question kind of killed the mood for Baz, and he scrolled past the question to try and find something less depressing.

 _'When does your next vid come out?'_

'Not sure. I was thinking the day after tomorrow because after I film stuff it takes me a while to feel like editing'

Glancing up, Baz saw two girls through the spooky-ily decorated window.

'Customers are here, gotta go!'

Baz put his phone away and sat up properly, back arched and arms crossed on the counter. Baz was internally pouting at the thought of actually doing work today, but outwardly he showed no sign of it. He allowed himself to scowl until the last possible second before the bespectacled one held the door open for the blonde one.

"Good morning, welcome to Starbucks."

The one that held the door open, the tall one, had long, frizzy brown hair tied back into a ponytail, and a blue-gray cardigan with large buttons that went to her thighs. along with her glasses, Baz thought she looked like someone who spent all her time reading and not like someone who went out with friends on the weekend.

Especially not friends like that...The shorter blonde girl was beautiful, despite the fact that she looked like the most uncaring person in the world. Her hair was messily French braided in the way that was popular now, with an added flower pinned in the side, and her army-green jacket and lacy, flowey white blouse made her look like she had walked straight out of a Tumblr fashion blog.

"What can I get for you today, ladies?" Baz asked smoothly. He made eye contact with Glasses first, assuming she was more assertive than Flower-Hair.

"I'll have a Vanilla-Bean Cream Frappuccino. Medium."

Baz turned his head. It seemed he'd been wrong. Flower-Hair had gone first. Her voice was quiet and pleasant, and very calming. There's was an alluring quality to it, and Baz could see her being good ASMR videos if she wanted to be. Baz wrote her order down.

"Grande Vanilla-Bean Cream Frappuccino, got it," He said, writing it on his notepad. "And for you?"

Glasses was on her phone, tapping her passcode in. "Um...I'll have a Grande Carmel Macchiato..."

Baz wrote it down as she said it, and, noting it sounded like she wasn't finished asked, "Anything else?" with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, sorry. Simon says he wants a Pumpkin Spice Latte," she replied, setting her phone down on the counter. Baz could see now that she'd been checking her messages. The name at the top read, " _Simon Snowman_ ".

Baz wrote it down. "Also Grande?"

Glasses nodded. Baz got to work.

He made the drinks, finding it almost painful not to make noise while he worked. At home, he was obnoxious noise-maker, always singing or humming or tapping on something. Anything to fill the silence of a creepy apartment like his. It had become a habit since he'd moved in two years ago, and he'd been finding it harder and harder to stay quiet in public.

Baz picked up on Glasses and Flower-Hair's conversation, listening in like he usually did with loud-talking people. Not that they were being loud, of course. The store was just empty.

"Did Simon stay up all night playing video games again? Is that why he's not here?"

"Yeah. I keep telling him he's never gonna find a job if he doesn't fix his sleeping schedule, but he still thinks YouTube's gonna work out. I mean, at the rate it's going it's definitely possible, but I'd like him to have something to fall back on just in case."

Flower-Hair nodded in agreement, picking up her already-made drink with one hand and scrolling though Instagram with her other. Baz noted that her nails were a lovely shade of lavnder. He wondered if he'd get hate if he painted his own nails... Probably. People were just mean, all the time, for no reason at all.

He set the last drink on the counter, the one for their friend, Simon, as Glasses had called him.

"Your total is $14.75," he stated, tapping their orders into the cash register. Flower-Hair reached for her purse, but Glasses beat her to it. "My turn remember?" Glasses paid and the two left, leaving Baz alone once more in the coffee shop.

* * *

"Simon, we're home!" Penny called, waking Simon up from his dreamless sleep. Looking over at the clock, Simon saw that it'd been more of a nap, really. He got up and walked to the kitchen, shirtless and still in dark-green pajama bottoms.

"Morning, Penny," Simon said, smiling as he took his drink.

"Good morning, Simon," Penny replied, and then in a lower voice, "Better go put a shirt on. We have company."

"Agatha?" Simon asked, even though he knew the answer. Penny nodded, and Simon turned back to his room.

When he came back, wearing a maroon sweater, jeans, and polka-dotted socks, he greeted Agatha with a warm hug. He was lucky to still have her as a friend after all the crap he'd put her though when they dated and he went through his 'questioning my sexuality' phase, and even luckier that she never held it against him, or even brought it up, really. For that, Simon was eternally grateful, because he still felt a bit awkward about it around her.

She'd been full into the relationship, the perfect girlfriend, and Simon had just dropped the breakup bomb out of nowhere. In hindsight, he should have gently led her into it, instead of just saying "I'm gay" and expecting to be fine... Oh, well. It had worked out in the end, but Simon was still a bit ashamed at not thinking that through better.

"So, Simon. We were gonna play a round of Smash Bros, you in?" Penny asked, already setting up the game on their TV.

"Absolutely! But, just so you know, I'm not going easy on you guys like last time." Simon grinned, plopping down on the couch and grabbing a controller.

Penny rolled her eyes and Agatha 'ugh-d' at him. Simon just smiled. He knew full well that Penny could kick his ass in Smash Bros any day of the week, and that his bravado was nothing more than banter between friends.

They played for an hour or so, Penny and Simon tied, before Simon overpowered her and took the tie-breaker round. "Ha, I told you! I knew I could do it!" He grinned.

"Whatever, Snow, don't forget who beat you for the last four games in a row," Penny replied, mock-annoyed but still smiling.

"Simon you're really not that great," Agatha joined in, sipping her now room-temperature drink.

"What is this, Gang-Up-on-Simon Day?" He joked, standing up and stretching. "Just let me have my victory guys!"

"We would, if we were allowed to brag when we win! But you just pout all the time when you lose, it's no fun!" Penny exclaims, following Simon to the kitchen, Agatha following her.

Simon began to make himself a pastrami-and-mustard sandwich, much to Agatha's dismay. She wrinkled her nose at the smell.

"That smells gross," She stated bluntly, walking to the cupboard and making herself a bowl of cereal instead.

"Relax, Ags, you don't have to eat any," Simon joked, taking his plate to the bar.

"And believe me, I won't."

"So what's the plan for today? We going anywhere?" Penny asked, sliding into a seat at the bar next to Simon, tapping out the passcode to her phone with her dark red nails.

"I was thinking the mall today. It's been forever since we did that," Agatha said, looking up from pouring the milk on her cereal. "That, or a movie. What's playing?"

"Nothing good. I vote mall," Simon said.

"Same," Penny agreed. "There's nothing in theaters now we haven't seen."

Simon hummed in agreement. The movies were their go-to spot for hanging out, which they did a lot. No one ever wanted to make a decision, so someone just suggested 'Movie?' and everyone else just went with it.

When Simon had finished his sandwich and Agatha her cereal, Penny grabbed her keys and they all headed towards the elevator to the lobby.

* * *

It was past noon. Baz was ready to tear his hair out from boredom. He knew it was a slow day, but geez, where was everyone? He checked the clock for the hundredth time and groaned.

The entire upper half of his body was sprawled onto the counter, chin resting on the cold top. He wondered if he'd ever be entertained again, when he remembered the girls from earlier that morning.

Glasses had said something about YouTube that'd caught his attention...Simon. Her friend had a channel. Baz figured he might as well check it out, it wasn't as if he had anything better to do.

Baz pulled up the Safari app on his phone and typed in 'simon youtube'. Too vague. Nothing but the game 'Simon Says'.

Baz thought for a moment. He'd been saved as 'Simon Snowman' in Glasses' phone... Maybe that could work.

Bingo.

A channel popped up, for someone called Simon Snow, username ' _TheSnowShow_ '.

Baz was about to cringe inwardly at the horrific rhyme-y username, but was stopped before he could. This guy was _gorgeous_. Baz had to remind himself to breathe for a second. Simon Snow had a head of copper-blond curls and tan skin, pretty blue eyes and a sprinkling of small moles and freckles seemingly all over his body. Baz hurried and clicked on the first video he saw, from yesterday and titled _'Simon Plays: P.T!'_

Baz found himself paying more attention to Simon's box in the corner than the much larger part of the screen depicting what Simon was doing. Actually, _all_ his attention was focused on Simon. Baz didn't really care about the game. He only knew what was going on from Simon's commentary and the occasional glance over. Soon, the video ended with Simon's outro, "Bye guys, see you next time!" with a grin and a small wave.

Baz eagerly clicked the next one.

Baz spent as much of his shift as he could like that, leaned over the counter, elbows falling asleep and ignoring it, focused entirely on the endearingly-perfect smile and extreme profanity that was commonly used by the gamer. He couldn't wait to go home and finish watching Simon's videos. His own channel would have to wait for a new video; this guy was way more entertaining.


	2. Secret Admirers

"Let's sit here, there's a great view out the window," Penny suggested, and Agatha nodded, setting her food onto the table.

 _I could care less about the view_ , Simon thought, as he practically fell into the rickety metal chair and sighed in content as his pained feet started to regain feeling.

He, Penny and Agatha had arrived at the mall two hours ago, and so far, he'd found nothing he wanted except a new pair of socks, with little flamingos sewn into them. The mall had sounded fun earlier, but now all Simon could think about was returning home and doing something fun, like filming a new video.

 _At least Penny and Agatha seem to be having fun_ , Simon thought, watching them talk while sipping his cherry coke.

The two girls had accumulated more bags than they could carry, full of new clothes and some kind of fancy makeup for Agatha and new shoes for Penny.

 _Too bad they're not interested in YouTube_ , Simon thought. _They could make a great haul video with all that stuff._

Simon tuned back into the conversation, realizing that if he was quiet for too long, they might think something was wrong.

"I'm just saying, he looked too much like a vampire for my taste," Penny was saying around a bite of chicken sandwich.

"He might have looked a bit like a vampire, yes, but he definitely made it work," Agatha replied. "You can't tell me he wasn't even a little bit hot."

"Who?" Simon asked.

They ignored him.

"He wasn't! Not unless you like pale skin and under-eye bags!" Penny retorted.

"Honestly, Penny, no wonder you need glasses. You're blind."

Penny glared, but the conversation stopped, so Simon tried again, tentatively.

"Who looks like a vampire?"

"The barista at Starbucks today. The _hot_ barista who did _not_ have under-eye bags and did _not_ look like a vampire," Agatha answered, with a pointed glare in Penny's direction. Penny harrumphed but didn't reply.

"Oh," Simon said, not sure what to say. "Did you guys catch his name? We could look him up and then I could see," he suggested.

"I didn't catch his name," said Penny, after thinking it over for a moment. "I was too busy texting you."

"I did," said Agatha. "But all his nametag said was 'Baz.' No last name."

"What kind of name is Baz?" Simon mused, pulling out his phone and opening safari. He typed in, 'Baz' and looked at the suggestions. All about Baz Luhrmann. Okay, so that probably wasn't it. He typed in 'Baz starbucks Austin.'

A wiki-page popped up, for a guy with about the same number of subscribers as him, who made videos at work and, yeah, totally looked like a vampire.

"Sorry, Ags, I'm with Penny. That guy looks like he's about to suck somebody's blood."

"Seriously, neither of you think he's hot?"

"I didn't say he wasn't hot, I'm just saying he looks like Snape and Dracula's semi-attractive love child," Simon said, laughing, and even Agatha had to giggle.

"You guys are the worst," she said, smiling.

"We know," Simon and Penny said simultaneously, before looking at each other in surprise and beginning to laugh all over again.

* * *

Baz was pretty much in love.

It'd been three days since he'd discovered Simon Snow, and it'd been three days since he'd watched anything except his channel.

Editing his latest video had been complete hell, because all he'd wanted to do was finish and get back to the tab in his browser that was now permanently open to 'TheSnowShow'. Baz had a problem, he knew it, and yet he couldn't tear himself away.

Baz clicked on a new thumbnail, titled, "Truth or Dare! With: the Penn-ster!"

 _Apparently, gaming videos aren't the only things Simon does_ , Baz thought, as the video loaded and Simon started talking.

"Hey, everyone! A lot of you guys have been asking on Twitter for me to do something that's not gaming, so here it is! My lovely assistant, Penny, or the Penn-ster, as I like to call her-" He gestures and Glasses from Starbucks comes onscreen, glaring. "-Will read me some questions and dares from you guys! And maybe at the end she'll do some, too, stick around and find out!" Simon says with a wink, ignoring Penny's protests and requests not be referenced as "the Penn-ster".

Baz watched the whole thing, smiling at how cute their friendship was. He wondered if the blonde one from Starbucks was just as close to them.

Baz pulled out his phone and opened the Twitter app. He typed in, "Simon Snow", and found the right account. (It was tough, as Simon wasn't verified, but Baz decided that that many terrible nicknames could only be created by one person.)

Baz followed, but didn't tweet at him. He didn't even know what he would say if he did want to start a conversation. Baz sighed as he looked at the clock. He should have left for his shift a few minutes ago. Luckily, he lived right around the corner, but he still should have been paying attention.

(Though, it wasn't his fault really, that Snow was so attractive. If anyone were to blame, it'd be him.)

* * *

Back at home, Penny, Agatha, and Simon were on the couch, sitting in silence. It was a comfortable silence, however; Penny reading, the other two on their phones.

Simon was bored; none of his favorite YouTubers had released any new videos, and he didn't feel like doing anything except watching today… Maybe he should expand his tastes.

He scolled though the 'Trending' page on YouTube, not seeing anything that really interested him, when he remembered Mr. Vampire. What was his name again? Simon couldn't remember.

He went to his search history and found the guy- Basilton Pitch, StarBucks vlogger.

On his YouTube channel, his videos were mostly Q&A's. Simon picked one randomly, not particularly impressed. Q&A's didn't take nearly as much skill as the high-caliber gaming videos made by a seasoned YouTuber such as himself. Simon snorted at his own thoughts as the video loaded.

It starts off with a bored, vampiric guy scrolling through his phone, when he stops momentarily to purse his lips and look into the camera disappointedly.

"Magicath wants to know if I'm allergic to garlic. Guys, I've already covered this. Twice. You've gotta stop asking."

Simon cracks a smile as the video cuts to Baz's intro. Maybe he was gonna like this guy after all.


	3. The Hot-Pink Sticky Note

Baz couldn't believe this.

Actual Simon Snow had just walked into his coffee shop, looking beautiful as ever, copper hair shining in the sun coming in through the window. However, in a stark contrast to the rest of his appearance, The smirk Snow wore was enough to make Baz ache.

Baz was awoken from his Snow-induced trance when his co-worker Levi's bony elbow lodged itself underneath his ribcage.

"Wake up, Basilton, you're drooling," he said, pretending to be annoyed and tossing his head so that his mop of straw-like hair flipped itself back.

"So, I'll just be..." Levi glanced left and right for a distraction. "Checking the milks' expiration date of you need me."

He proceeded to the mini-fridge under the counter, crouching down and making sure his back was to Baz before pulling out his phone and starting to text. He didn't even open the _door_ , for God's sake...

"Um, hey."

Baz jolted.

"HE-y. Hey." He tried to recover.

"So you're Baz."

Snow gave him an appraising look. Baz didn't want to admit how heavily his heart beat under his gaze.

"Yeah," he answered simply. "You're Simon."

"Mm."

Baz panicked. Snow wasn't nearly as talkative in real life as he was in his videos! Was Baz expected to start the conversation? What should he say?

"So can I get you a drink or are you just here to talk?"

Fuck, that came out ruder than I thought it would, Baz thought, horrified that he'd even said it. Luckily, Snow just smiled.

"Wow," Snow said, raising his eyebrow. "You're the same person in videos and in real life. Cool."

"And you're not," Baz retorted, and then added, in a softer tone: "But that's cool, too."

"I am the same. You just don't know it yet."

And with that, Snow dropped a hot pink sticky note on the counter and left, with his hands in his pockets and another one of his cocky signature smirks.

* * *

Outside, Simon was freaking out.

He'd finally worked up the courage to go inside; he'd had the whole thing planned out, and he'd panicked! He didn't even order a drink! He couldn't believe how ridiculous he'd sounded in there; he just hoped Baz wasn't thinking the same thing.

* * *

Inside, Baz was freaking out.

It was like someone had snapped their fingers and made his dreams come true, just like that. Simon Snow had just _flirted_ with him, and _gave him his number_ , and basically invited him to hang out, kinda. Baz held the sticky note in his hand, staring ahead into the nothingness and rubbing the numbers under his thumb.

"So...that went well," Levi commented, while scrubbing down the counters.

Baz didn't reply. He was still in shock.

His mind was already running on overdrive, trying to decide when would be the most acceptable time to call. After work right? No, too soon. Closer to dinner would be better, just make sure it's not too late...

"...even listening to me?" Levi asked, eyebrows furrowed. He waved his hands in front of Baz's eyes, causing Baz to glare angrily. "Earth to Basilton!"

"What?" Baz said evenly, trying really hard not to lose it, but only because he knew he'd been spacing out.

"I asked if you'd cover for me for a few minutes while I go call my girlfriend real quick. Geez, that boy's really getting to ya, huh?"

With that, Levi sauntered out, leaving Baz alone with his thoughts. Had Snow gotten to him? Yes, that much was obvious. But what if that wasn't what Snow meant?

New fears and paranoias entered his head, and Baz attempted to shove them out as best as he could. Surely Baz hadn't read the situation wrong? Walking into someone's workplace with a mysterious smirk and your number on a pink sticky note didn't exactly sound like a 'just friends' kind of thing. Still... Maybe Baz should hang low for a bit. Just until he could figure out whether Simon was just trying to be his "bro" or whatever it was straight gamers called themselves.

Either way, Baz was sure he'd be okay with it. He needed some friends, and if it turned into something more... Who'd he be to stop it?

* * *

Penny launched herself from the couch the second he slid his key into the lock.

"Did you do it?!" She demanded, practically shouting.

Simon winced.

"Yes."

"And?!"

"Uh..."

Penny's face went from "excited friend" to "concerned mother" faster than Simon could even process. She ushered him to the couch, and enveloped him in a big hug. "What happened?"

"Nothing, Penny, nothing bad, it just..." He searched for the right words. "Didn't go as planned, that's all."

Penny's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "He said no?"

"No, he didn't say anything. I think he was surprised," Simon admitted. Maybe he had come off a bit too strong.

"Huh. Well, I guess that can't be helped," Penny sighed, standing up and walking to the kitchen. Simon could hear the tapping of her sock feet on the tile. "At least he has your number now. He'll call if he's interested."

But Simon couldn't seem to make his insides stop knotting and twisting up. He's been hyped up on adrenaline earlier, but now he was coming off it and worry was starting to set in. Simon decided he needed to sleep his problems away, so he shuffled off to his room, where he could hide under the covers and ignore the world for a while.

* * *

A good thirty minutes later, Simon emerged from under the covers, face flushed from the heat and annoyed that he couldn't seem to fall asleep.

He had assumed that the stress caused from(kind of) asking someone out combined with how anxious he was about when Baz would reply would be the perfect recipe for a nap, and yet his "body screamed "not tired!" even as his mind was about to pass out due to exhaustion.

Simon decided to check his phone, maybe watch a few videos (Was it weird to watch Baz's videos now that he knew him in real life?) when a text came in:

 **Unknown Number:** Hello, Simon? so I was thinking

 **Unknown Number:** Movie?


	4. First Date (Or is it?)

**A/N: It's been a while! I really didn't even realize it been this long since I updated, but I'm on break this week so I'm trying to update all my fics (it probably won't happen) (I'm sorry)**

 **Also, special thanks to cal down in the comments for giving me some ideas for their accents! It really helped my writer's block!**

* * *

 **Unknown Number:** Hello, Simon? so I was thinking

 **Unknown Number:** Movie?

Simon's heart was racing, and through some unprecedented act of self-restraint, he managed to leave the phone alone for 5 whole minutes. He instead filled the time with creating a contact for Baz, and oh-so-carefully planning what he would say in reply.

 **Simon:** Yeah! Which one?

He turned his phone off and closed his eyes, squishing his face into his pillow to wait for a reply.  
His phone buzzed again, and he nearly spasmed off the bed. Simon squealed from the bubble of happiness that rose from his chest as he read Baz's next text.

 **Baz:** How about Dr. Strange? I haven't seen that one yet

 **Simon** : I have, but then again I've pretty much seen everything in theatres now lol

 **Simon** : Don't worry I won't spoil it for you ;)

 **Baz** : Well, thanks for that at least. Is tomorrow after I get off work okay?

 **Simon** : Tomorrow's great! Also, hey, I live real close to the theater, so if you want to meet me outside my apartment building we can walk there and talk a bit before the movie starts?

 **Simon** : If you're down for that

Simon tensed up in anticipation. He knew that they hadn't technically said it was a date yet, but hopefully, Simon thought, Baz would read between the lines and make a move, because God knows Simon couldn't be smooth to save his life.

There was an uncomfortably long silence from Baz, and Simon began to get worried. And sleepy. He hoped Baz wouldn't be long, 'cause his blanket was really warm...

* * *

Baz's eyes were wide for most of his conversation with Snow.

He'd tried to keep it cool, but it was getting difficult. Was Snow flirting with him? It was so hard to tell. This was sounding more and more like a date, and surely Snow had to know what he was doing? He'd used a winky face, for God's sake...  
Baz held their conversation open for a longer time than he'd meant to, trying to get his words casual but not uncaring. In the end he decided to just go with a friendly tone and stop overthinking it.

 **Baz** : Yeah, that actually sounds pretty fun! It'll be nice to actually have a real conversation with you.

* * *

Simon jolted back to consciousness from the vibration of his phone and the sudden bright light in his face. The sun had gone down while he'd been texting Baz, and it seemed that all the remaining light in the sky had vanished during the time he'd been resting his eyes.

Squinting through the pain of the light coming from his phone screen, Simon smiled at the new message and typed his reply.

 **Simon:** Yeah, sounds great! See you tomorrow then. Goodnight! :)

Simon texted Baz the name of his apartment complex real quick and set his phone on his bedside table. Normally, he'd play a video game until he was tired, but he suddenly felt exhausted from thinking through what to say in all his texts.

* * *

Baz put his phone on the charger after wishing Simon goodnight and decided he'd put this out of his mind for now. There was no point losing sleep over this (beautiful) boy when he had work and a possible date tomorrow.

Still, Baz was having trouble thinking about other things. He kept flipping from one side of his body to the other (he was a side-sleeper) trying to decide if he should treat it like a date tomorrow.

He definitely wanted it to be a date... so maybe he should? Gah. Baz hated all this uncertainty. He was such a precise person in everything that he did, like making sure all his clothes were hung up neatly. In the shop (and any other time the need arose), he followed recipes to a tee. But this? This was a mess, and the emotions Baz was feeling because of it made him want to throw his face into his pillow and scream.

* * *

Baz awoke considerably calmer the next day, which was odd to him, considering that he'd been on the verge of a mental breakdown last night.

Baz wore a nicer shirt than usual, as he wouldn't have time to come home and change before it would be time to pick Simon up after his shift.

Simon... Baz really wanted this not-date to go well. He took extra care in his appearance today, making sure his hair was combed neatly and his face was clear of spots.

Well, almost clear, Baz thought. There was still that one evil bugger near his hairline that had been there for a week, slowly fading but still noticeable... Baz glared at it. At least no new ones had cropped up during the night.

Baz made his way to the shop, working through the day with Levi pestering him about Simon and when they were gonna get married and have kids.

"I just met him, Levi," Baz said into his phone, a light blush coating his cheeks. He didn't know what it was, but something about the older man's teasing voice and indulgent smile always made him feel like a like a little kid with dumb, little kid problems.

"Still," Levi insisted. "Baby names?"

Baz almost hit him.

* * *

"Penny!" Simon called his best friend frantically from his room, where he was currently pulling every article of clothing he owned out from his drawers and tossing it onto the bed, where they landed in the ever-growing heap of clothes that didn't look good enough for his date that night.

"Geez, Simon, what's going on? What are you looking for?" Penny looked confused, standing in the doorway in her pajamas, holding a mug of tea.

"I have a date tonight!" Simon blurted out, and Penny blink owlishly from behind her glasses.

"Really? Simon that's great!" She said, smiling. "With Baz?"

"Yeah, only..." Simon trailed off. "I don't actually know if it's a date or not."

Penny looked dumbfounded. "Are you kidding me, Simon? How do you not know if it's a date?!"

She exasperated to the sky and threw up her hand. "Honestly, how do you get yourself in these situations?"

"I don't know, it just happens!" Simon insisted lamely, throwing another shirt onto the pile. "What do I wear on a date that might not be a date?"

Penny stared him down for a moment before rolling her eyes and setting down her mug. "I can't believe you seriously don't know if it's a date or not. Look, do you want it to be a date?"

"Yes."

"Then it's a date. Treat it like one." She handed him a nice red flannel shirt and a black undershirt. She left him to change, and Simon smiled to himself. Penny always came though, and always seemed to be right... Alright. He'd treat this like a date and hope for the best.

* * *

It was a little bit before dark when Baz walked to Snow's apartment complex. When Baz saw Snow under the fading light of the sunset, his first thought was that it didn't feel like they made it out to in the movies.

Baz's breath wasn't knocked away, his mind didn't short-circuit into nothing; instead, his thoughts swirled faster than they ever had before. Thoughts of how amazing Snow- Simon- looked in person, without the barrier of a screen between them, and how much Baz ached for this to be date, and for it to lead into many more dates to come.

Baz's heart was pounding in his chest, faster than he thought it'd ever gone before, as he closed the gap between them a little faster than he'd intended.

"Hey!" Simon said cheerily, and for a moment Baz thought the shorter boy was going to hug him- but he didn't, so Baz put his hands in the pocket of his jacket instead.

"Hey," Baz replied with a smile, and they stare at each other for a moment before Baz breaks the silence.  
"Ready to go?"

Simon smiles impossibly wider as he nods and they start walking in the direction of the theater. Their pace is on the slower side, but by Baz's calculations it should be fine. They had plenty of time before the movie was scheduled to start.

"How was work today?" Simon asked, and as Baz turned to look at him, he once again found himself unable to think of a good response.

Simon seemed to sense Baz's distress, so he continued. "Anything special happen?"

"No, it was pretty normal day," Baz said, struggling to remain casual-sounding. "It was a little busier than normal, but honestly, I've been kind of spacing out all day. I hardly noticed."

"Ha," said Simon, not actually laughing. "I've been so nervous for this that I couldn't think straight! I've been freaking out preparing all day, but now that it's finally here I'm like…" He made a little hand motion. "Chill."

"You were nervous for this?" Baz asked quizzically, tilting his head as if he hadn't just been freaking out himself on the walk over.

"Yeah," Simon confirmed, grinning charmingly. "I wanted you to think I was cool."

His smile was sheepish now, but Baz thought it was adorable. What about him made Simon want to impress him? Whatever it was, Baz didn't want it to stop.

* * *

By the time they got to the theater, they'd learned a lot about each other.

Simon learned that Baz was from England, and that was why he had a British accent. He came to America with his Aunt Fiona when he was 15. He didn't say why though, and Simon hadn't wanted to pry. But now that they were off the topic and it would be weird to ask, Simon found himself burning with curiosity.

Baz learned that Simon was from Texas, and he learned that he was really, really obsessed with Simon's Southern drawl. Like, too much obsessed.

There was an awkward moment where Simon and Baz both tried to hold the door open for each other, and ended up blushing and laughing as they went in.

They each paid for their own ticket, which Baz took to mean it wasn't a date, and Simon took to mean Baz didn't know it was a date.

So, how to make him realize? Simon brainstormed.

"Do you think Benedict Cumberbatch is hot?" Simon asked out of the blue, and immediately mentally slapped himself for not thinking things through before he said them.

"I guess?" Baz replied, clearly confused by the sudden question from Simon. "Parts of him are hot, but I don't think he's as great as everyone thinks he is. I mean, he's no Chris Evans. But he'll do."

Simon nodded solemnly. "Amen to that. He's hot, but like… calm down."

Baz made an agreeable noise. He was saved from the pressure of having to think of a reply, because it was their turn to buy food.

Simon was standing in front of Baz, and fully intended to use that to his advantage.

"One cherry Coke please…" He turned to look at Baz. "What do you want to drink? Oh, and do you want to split a popcorn?"

"Dr. Pepper, and, uh, sure." Baz replied, and when Simon turned back around, he smirked.

 _How's that for a friend outing?_ Simon thought evilly. _We're gonna romantically share this popcorn,_ and _I'm going to pay for it._

Simon could practically hear how uncomfortable Baz was about him paying, but it was too late. The dude at the register had already taken Simon's money.

Simon spun around to face Baz and tried to look as nonchalant as possible.

"You didn't have to do that," Baz said, and Simon could tell it was as much of a question as it was a statement.

"I know," Simon said casually, and decided to leave it at that. Let Baz wonder why he did it, and hopefully, along the way, he'd figure out that Simon wanted this to be a date.

* * *

Baz was confused.

He knew he'd said he was gonna treat this like a 'friend thing,' but Simon was really pushing the limits of friendship at the moment. Yeah, friends could share popcorn and pay for each other's food… but the first time they met? Wasn't friendship supposed to go slower than that? Baz didn't know. Simon was hurting his head, and somehow, Baz didn't think it was accidental.

Baz took his drink from Simon and they walked side by side to the theater. As they were going in, Simon was stopped by a small, pixie-ish looking girl, with the appropriate name of Trixie.

Simon leaned closer to Baz during their conversation- Baz didn't know why. Comfort, maybe? Maybe Simon secretly didn't like this Trixie.

"And who's this?" Trixie asked with a grin, causing Simon to jump off Baz's arm like he'd been burnt.

"This is my… Baz." Simon said haltingly, and Baz could practically see a piece of him die inside.

"Your Baz?" Trixie asked mischievously, and Baz could tell she knew exactly what she was doing.

"Yes. Basilton Pitch." Baz stepped in, holding his hand out. He could see that she was shocked by his accent and weird name, so he used it to get away. "Nice to meet you, but if you'll excuse us, we're going to be late."

Baz sidestepped Trixie and steered Simon into the theater by the small of his back.

"Thanks," Simon whispered as they made their way to the top-ish middle. "Trixie's not exactly my favorite person."

"I could tell, Baz said, amused. He removed his hand so Simon could sit down.

"She's just…" Simon sighed. He couldn't think of the words. "Trixie, I guess."

Baz nodded sympathetically. Then, the last ad finished and the movie began to play.

* * *

In Baz's opinion, the movie was good.

In Simon's, well, Simon thought it was fine. He did more staring at Baz from the corner of his eye than he did watching the movie, anyways; after all, he'd already seen it. (And Simon thought Baz was prettier than Benedict Cumberbatch any day.)

"So, what'd you think?" Simon asked, grinning widely at Baz and leaning forward ever so slightly.

"I think you need to work on your finesse," Baz replied smoothly, picking up the empty popcorn container and his drink. "Your eyes were practically burning a hole in the side of my head."

Simon sputtered a barely comprehensible, 'whatever' before quickly changing the subject, face red and flustered.

"About the movie," Simon said, careful with his wording this time, and jogging to catch up with Baz, who had smugly passed him by after he'd been incapacitated with embarrassment.

"The movie was good," Baz said neutrally, throwing the empty bucket away. Simon wondered how he managed to be graceful with every single thing he did. "I won't pretend to have some vast knowledge of Dr. Strange hidden away anywhere. But I still enjoyed the movie. It was funny."

Simon flashed back to when the movie had been at it's funniest. Baz had looked so adorable n Simon's eyes, chuckling into his hand like he didn't want to show the world his smile.

"Yeah, it was!" Simon said. He was always pumped after seeing Marvel movies (even when he was only half-watching). The violence really did a number on his self-control.

Baz smiled at him fondly, and Simon felt both like an over-excited child and like he was walking on a cloud.

They exited the theater into the crisp beginning-of-winter air and began walking back.

Their conversation was still on the movie, (they were now discussing the beginning, and how it was basically a Sherlock Holmes doctor AU) but they were talking more quietly, as if the darkness was prompting them to silence.

"I literally couldn't tell the difference," Simon said, laughingly. "Dr. Strange or Sherlock? The world may never know."

Simon feels something wet drop down onto his nose, and knows they're about to be in for a rough time.

"I feel rain," Baz says, and looks up towards the sky, where gray clouds are beginning to gather. All Simon can do is nod before they start to run, laughing, towards Simon's apartment.

The complex was still a ways away, and Simon and Baz can't escape the downpour. By the time Simon dashes under the awning to the right building, they're completely soaked.

Breathless from the exercise, Simon turned to thank Baz for the night. But when he looks, all he sees is Baz, who had been barely behind him the whole time, skidding to a stop. Except he couldn't.

Shoes wet from the rain, Simon recognizes the beginnings of a fall. So he does the only logical thing someone in his position would: he rushes forward and grabs Baz in a tight bear hug.

Baz wraps his arms around Simon a second later, as if to say, 'I'm good now, thanks for saving me,' and Simon thinks now is probably a good time to remove his face from Baz's neck.

Still hanging from Simon in their accidental tango dip, Baz looks up at exactly the time Simon looks down, and Simon swallows.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

Baz can barely nod before Simon's lips are on his.

It was very sweet, as far as kisses go; it seemed a bit like a testing of the water, so to speak. It's over in a moment, and in Simon's eyes Baz can see the worried expression and unspoken question: Was that okay?

Baz only kisses him again, harder this time, in response.

"Baz?" Simon murmurs after a while.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I can hold you any longer."

"Right."

Baz awkwardly gets to his feet, running a hand through his wet hair sheepishly. He's forgotten about his could-be catastrophe.

"You know, I was trying to get you to do that all night," Simon said, signature grin returning.

Baz raised an eyebrow. "You were? I didn't even know this was a date."

"Did you want it to be?" Simon asked, remembering when Penny had asked him the same thing just yesterday.

"Of course," Baz replied with a smile. "But I thought you were straight."

"Don't you watch my videos?" Simon asked teasingly.

"Yeah," Baz said defensively.

"I literally have a video titled, 'I'M BISEXUAL!' in big bold letters!" Simon exclaimed, and Baz just stared.

"...I must have missed that one."


	5. Take A Hike, Boys

**SnowBaz Chapter 5**

 **A/N: Yo I'm just gonna say right now that this entire chapter was based off what my pal cal down in the comments came up with. I would say only 20 percent (or less idk) is actually my own lmao**

 **(And yeah, I totally googled birds for thirty minutes just for this story)**

Simon was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling and grinning.

He was so happy their date had gone well that now that he was home he couldn't make himself stop thinking about it. It was a euphoric experience for sure, and in that moment, Simon felt like nothing in the world could drag him down.

Still, Simon had a video to record before the next morning because his schedule said he would upload a new video every Sunday, and Simon had been well… Distracted lately, to say the least.

Pulling himself up, Simon dragged himself to the bathroom. He ran a hand through his hair, momentarily separating the curls before they snapped back together in one big clump.

So that's how we're doing this, huh, Simon thought, narrowing his eyes at his own reflection.

With one hand he held his comb and in the other a fistful of hair, furiously attempting to tidy up his appearance so he could film. But every time he'd finish a section and move onto the next, the first section had already snapped back to it's original place and Simon found himself back at square one.

"I don't even know why I own a comb," Simon said out loud, accepting his defeat with a sigh.

He threw on a maroon hoodie and some black and white exercise shorts and headed to the office to get filming.

"Hey, everyone! Today I will be playing Undertale, by popular request! I know I'm a little late with this episode, but cut me some slack, I'm a busy guy!"

Simon laughed as the game loaded up.

"I'm hoping to get through with the game today if I have a really long episode, but honestly this game could be longer than I thought, I haven't actually checked cause I'm scared of getting spoiled."

With another laugh Simon booted up the game and begin playing. He hoped that he wouldn't wake up Penny, as she tended to go to bed early, but he was already recording and, in a selfish moment, decided to keep going.

Penny never came out to tell him off, though, so Simon stayed like that, playing through the game until he reached what he thought would give him about an hour of footage. As he feared, the game was not yet completed.

"Okay," Simon said sheepishly. "That's as long as I'm willing to make an episode, but we're still not done, so I guess you guys just get a super-long treat, huh? And more episodes, too, you spoiled subscribers."

Simon laughed and grinned good-naturedly before repeating the outro he'd come to use and turning off the camera.

Simon hummed to himself as he removed the card from the camera and inserted it into his computer.

Fetching his good editing earphones, Simon sat down to edit, knowing full well that he would probably be up until three in the morning. Simon struggled to remember whether or not he had anything he was supposed to do tomorrow that might require him to wake up early, but he couldn't think of anything.

As he edited, Simon's thoughts traveled to how he usually went hiking on Saturdays.

He obviously didn't mind skipping today, because he was too high-strung about his date to go, but he still was the tiniest bit disappointed about missing.

Then it hit him: what if Simon took Baz on a make-up hike for a second date?

Simon considered it for a moment. Was it his turn to choose, since Baz technically chose to go to the movies? Was that how it worked? Would Baz even like hiking?

Simon decided to take a break after he was done editing about half of the video. During that time, Simon picked up his phone and opened the conversation thread he had going with Baz.

Nervously, Simon tapped out a message and returned back to this editing before he could overthink things.

* * *

"Hello, everyone, it's Baz, and today is kind of a slow day, so I was thinking, vlog?"

He phrases it as a question, even though his subscribers won't get a say in whether or not this goes up.

Baz talks to the camera as he goes through the motions of cleaning the Starbucks mugs. He talks about his day so far (a horrendously old hag had shouted at him for getting her name wrong. "It's Ebb! Ebb with two b's, no h's!") and letting them know how he'd been since his last vlog a month ago.

"I went on a date yesterday as well, with-" Baz stopped cleaning and looked into the camera for a moment, contemplating. Was he allowed to tell people about him and Simon? No. It was definitely too soon. He started his sentence over.

"I went on a date yesterday as well, and it was only the first one, so it's too soon to tell, but I think it went really well," he said, horrified when he felt himself beginning to blush. "I won't tell you who it is yet, but hey, maybe if it keeps going well, you'll get to meet him soon."

Baz starts to wrap up the video, with some questions from Twitter, like always.

"Wrenegade asks when I'm gonna do another Q and A video!" Baz smiled a little sheepishly. "Gotta be honest with you, Wrenegade, it'll probably be the next time I run out of ideas. So next video."

He scrolled until one more caught his eye.

"From Alpaca-Mittens… ur a nerd. Thanks, Levi. And with that, I'm gonna go. Thank you guys so much for watching my videos, and hey, if you're new, subscribe! Goodbye, everyone."

Baz put his phone back in his pocket and got back to work, and as he cleaned, he let his mind wander.

Did Simon like him as much as Baz liked Simon? He sure hoped so. Baz smiled as he felt a bubble of happiness rise inside him. He couldn't wait 'til the next one.

"What're you so smiley about?"

Baz looked up as Levi walked through the door, grinning from ear to ear.

Baz blushed, and then frowned at his own body's betrayal.

"Is cleaning the counters that entertaining?" Levi asked jovially.

"I'm kidding," he said when Baz didn't reply. "I know what it is. It's totally that boy that came in to give you his number."

Levi smiled impossibly wider as Baz's blush got impossibly deeper.

"I'm not going to answer that," Baz said, setting down the rag and stalking off to the bathroom.

"I'm right, right?" Levi called after him, and Baz wanted to punch the southern drawl right out of his voice.

Baz is in the bathroom (waiting for his blush to die down) when he gets Simon's text.

Simon: Hey, so I know this is like, really sudden after our last date, but I was wondering

Simon: If you'd maybe like to come hiking with me tomorrow? I know it sounds dumb but I think it could be fun :)

Baz doesn't even think about it before he's typed, "Yeah, that sounds like fun! Not gonna lie, I have nil experience in hiking, but hey, try new things, right?"

Simon: Right!

Simon: It's gonna be at Zilker Park at 1:00, can't wait hang with you again!

Baz walked home that day excited but worried.

He had a ton of thoughts running through his head, but he refused to let that spoil the moment.

When Baz arrived home, it was kind of late, but he still stayed up to edit the day's vlog and do a little researching on hiking. Not the actual sport hiking (he figured he'd be able to manage that) but research to answer the real burning question: What should he wear?

Baz pulled out his phone to attempt to answer it, but instead he was greeted to way more Twitter notifications than he felt comfortable getting.

Baz's heart did flips as he read the tweets from his subscribers.

"Him? Basilton Pitch do you have something you'd like to share with the class?!"

"BAZ SAID HIM OH MY GOD HES GAY I KNEW IT"

"I literally cannot believe that this guy gets more dick than me :((("

With a sigh, Baz flopped down onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

Way to go, Baz.

* * *

Baz woke up late and and jittery from nerves.

He wasn't late enough that he'd be late to the park, but he did have to rush to get ready, something Baz was never really comfortable doing.

He'd decided yesterday to just wear shorts and a T-shirt, because apparently "proper hiking attire" wasn't a thing.

After speed-walking to the park, Baz spotted Simon mingling with the other hikers: some older couple with a golden retriever, a younger girl with dark hair that looked like she needed a nap, and a guy who had to have been the instructor, judging by the amount of hiking gear on his back.

Simon turned just as Baz was walking up, and grinned evilly as he pulled Baz to the back of the group.

"So, YouTube's newest gay arrives!" Simon cackled hugging Baz hello, and Baz found himself smiling even though last night he hadn't found his situation the least bit funny. "How's it feel to be freshly out?"

"It hasn't really hit me yet, I guess," Baz admitted, averting his eyes. "I don't actually feel that different."

"Trust me, you'll feel different when you make a few bucks off a coming out video," Simon joked, still giggling at Baz's expense. "And hey, you're getting lots of free publicity off Guru Gossip."

"Guru Gossip is not where I want my publicity coming from!" Baz groaned, rubbing his forehead.

Simon smiled and opened his mouth to say something else, but the guy with all the equipment said something with a grin, and the hike began.

Simon and Baz walked side by side, exchanging small talk of YouTube and the latest challenge trends. Somehow, they got onto the topic of collabs.

"Oh my god!" Simon exclaimed. "We should collab together! We could do the condom challenge! Or the not my arms challenge! Or maybe the chapstick challenge?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Baz rolled his eyes for show, but smiled anyways.

"Maybe our first collabs should be something a little more tame," he suggested lamely, and Simon laughed again, this time at the fierce blush on Baz's face from imagining kissing Simon again.

"Would you rather do a gaming vid with me sometime, then?" Simon asked, suddenly sincere, and Baz smiled.

"I'd like that."

They stood, neither wanting to break eye contact, for longer than either of them had meant to; finally after turning away, Baz saw that they'd lost the group.

"Um… Do you know where the group went?" Baz asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Nope." Simon sounded way less concerned than Baz thought he should've.

"I mean, c'mon. How hard could it be to get back?" Simon asked nonchalantly. "We practically just started the hike. And besides, now we get to explore!"

Baz smirked at the way Simon's eyes lit up when he said "explore."

"'Explore?'" Baz teased. "What are we, ten?"

Simon pouted, sticking out his tongue and crossing his arms. "Maybe."

Baz laughed. "Whatever, let's go explore."

Simon grinned. "I'll lead the way!"

He grabbed Baz's hand and pulled him deeper into the trees.

* * *

"Look!"

Baz turned his head to look up where Simon had pointed.

They had been walking for several minutes in silence, just holding hands. Baz jumped a little at Simon's sudden exclamation, but luckily for Baz's pride, Simon didn't seem to notice.

"A bird?" Baz asked, tilting his head.

"Not just a bird," Simon said in disbelief, as if Baz not knowing what type of bird it was was a capital offense. "That's a blackbird!"

He looked back at Baz, eyes sparkling in amusement. Baz was still confused.

"Why's that important?" He asked cautiously.

"Blackbirds are a good omen! We have the blackbird's blessing!" Simon laughed.

Baz was torn between kissing Simon and questioning why he knew not only what a blackbird looked like, but the meaning behind it.

"Now I just need to see a bat to confirm my theory…" Simon trailed off, smirking straight ahead. Baz smacked his arm.

"I'm not a vampire!"

* * *

After they'd been wandering for about 15 minutes, the ground suddenly started to decline, and they soon came to a shallow creek.

"Let's just walk through," Simon suggested, and Baz didn't have a chance to argue before Simon was pulling him into the water.

It only came up halfway to their knees, but Baz knew he'd be irritated by his wet shoes for much longer.

Halfway across the creek, Simon paused, and Baz only had a moment to think, "Oh, no" before Simon was leaning down and splashing him with water.

Baz was quick to splash back, and Simon, surprised by the rapid return fire, fell backwards onto his butt, laughing.

"Oh my god, Baz, you're savage!" Simon laughed, running a wet hand through his hair and sticking the front curls together.

"I wouldn't have to be if you hadn't started a water-fight like a 12-year-old!" Baz retorted reaching a hand out to help Simon up.

Simon went with the classic response: Taking Baz down with him.

"Okay, that was so not cool," Baz complained, now wetter than Simon.

Simon shrugged. He rested his head on Baz's shoulder for a moment.

"Sorry that escalated," Simon apologized sheepishly.

Baz couldn't do anything it smile. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had this much fun, outside or with a friend or on a date or anything. And he didn't want it to end.


	6. Star CROSS-ed Lovers

**A/N: Enjoy!**

That Friday, Baz stood outside the door to Simon's apartment, steeling himself up to knock.

Simon had texted him, asking if he'd like to come over and film, and of course Baz said yes, but that didn't stop his first visit to Simon's apartment from being nerve-wracking as all get-out.

When he finally sucked in a breath and knocked twice on the wooden door, there was a long pause before he heard shuffling inside, and a girl with frizzy brown hair in green plaid pyjamas and striped socks came to the door.

With a shock, Baz realizes they've met before; in fact, that girl was the reason Baz had even Googled Simon in the first place.

In the coffee shop that day, the girl had looked friendly, if a little spaced out; now, she looked protective, and more than a little disapproving.

"You're Baz?" she asked, without smiling.

Baz nodded. "Yeah."

"I've seen you at Starbucks," she continues.

She was confusing him now.

"...Yeah?"

"Alright," she says after a pause. "Come on in."

As Penny makes her way to the office in the back of the apartment, (Baz following close behind) she thinks about this Baz character, and specifically, what she thought of him.

He seemed a little stuck up, that day he'd taken their order at Starbucks, but she'd assumed he was just grumpy from working. Now, off work, he didn't seem much better to her.

Penny would never talk bad about anyone Simon chose to date, but this Baz guy just didn't sit well with her. She wanted to make sure Simon dated someone who'd treat him right, and so far this guy didn't seem the type.

"He's in there."

She stops in the doorframe of the office and lets Baz through.

"Hey! Baz!" Simon's face lights up when he sees Baz walk through the doorframe. He gets up and walk-runs across the room to hug Baz in greeting. "Sorry I didn't come to the door, I had my headphones on," he admits sheepishly.

From her spot in the doorway, Penny can hear the laugh in Baz's voice when he says, "It's no problem!"

Making her way back to her room, Penny smiles.

Maybe this Baz guy was worth a shot after all.

* * *

Soon they're squished together playing Mario Kart 8 on one side of the couch, both leaning forward to get closer to the TV, and the warmth from their combined body heat is almost unbearable to Baz, but he isn't complaining. Besides, Simon doesn't seem to mind, and Baz loves being this close to someone.

They're halfway through the 2nd lap on Sweet Sweet Canyon when Simon's stomach growls.

He laughs and pauses the game before standing up and stretching.

"Sorry, dude, I'm hungry! Are you hungry? Let's go get a snack," He says in one big jumble, and Baz is suddenly reminded of a hyperactive golden retriever, with the way everything Simon did was _quick._

Baz had eaten before he'd left his house, because there was no fucking way Basilton Pitch was gonna walk into someone else's house and take food without it being offered up first. He cringed at the thought of what his Aunt Fiona would say if she found out about him doing that.

Simon bounces into the kitchen, opens the cabinet at the very bottom, and gets out a box of… something. Baz can't read it from where he is, and he;s about to ask what Simon's doing when Simo tosses a package of the thing from the box in his direction.

Baz had pretty good reflexes from playing football all throughout secondary school, so catching the package was no problem even with Simon's complete lack of warning.

With the mystery package now in his hand, Baz read the name on the bright yellow wrapping: Fruit Gushers.

Baz looked at Simon quizzically. Simon didn't seem to be paying attention through his own happiness.

"Gushers, the favorite snack of elementary school kids everywhere!" He laughed. "And me, of course. My favorite are the red ones; they're cherry."

He looked over at Baz, to see what he thought, when he was met with Baz's blank stare.

"You don't like Gushers?" Simon asked, tilting his head. "That's okay, I can find you something else-"

"No, that's not it," Baz interrupted, shaking his head before Simon got the wrong idea. "I don't know what this is."

"What...Gushers are?" Simon confirmed, like someone not knowing about Gushers was a completely foreign concept.

"Yeah."

"Well then, open them up!" Simon said excitedly, scooting closer to watch Baz's expression. "I can't believe I get to see you try Gushers for the first time! This is so cool."

Baz was a little taken aback by SImon's interest, but he supposed it made sense. Apparently, everything interested Simon; it would just take some getting used to.

Baz opens the package and Simon makes small talk. "Do you not have Gushers in the UK? That's where you're from, right? When'd you come here?"

"No, yes, and about two years ago," Baz replied, keeping it short so he could get to the eating part.

He picks out one of the red ones (a difficult task, as they all stuck together) because Simon said it was good, and chewed it contemplatively before deciding, "It's good."

"I knew you'd like them!" Simon grinned triumphantly, before taking a little hop up to sit on the counter.

Baz joins him a second later, and as Simon watches Baz finish his Gushers sitting on the island across from him, he can't help but smile.

It was a little hard for Simon to believe he was really there, but Simon didn't have to touch him to know that the Baz right in front of him was 100%, completely and totally real.

* * *

After they finished eating their Gushers, Simon lead the way into the office, where the camera was already set up on the tripod.

Simon fiddled with the settings on the back of the camera while Baz got settled on the couch.

"What are we playing, Simon?" Baz questioned. Simon hummed.

"Ask me again when we start the video," he said mischievously, looking up and smirking at Baz.

Baz didn't question further, mostly because the first time he asked he was just trying to break the silence, but Baz had to admit he was curious.

Once Simon finished with the controls, he sat down next to Baz and they prepared to start the video.

"You ready?" Simon asked, a twinge of nervousness showing through his usually relaxed Texan accent.

"'Course," Baz said nonchalantly. "Our first collab, what's not to love?"

Simon hit "record," and just like that, it began.

"Hey guys, today I have a very special guest here with me, Baz Pitch! Say 'hi,' Baz." Simon grinned and patted Baz on the cheek.

"Hello from Simon's channel, everyone," Baz said, sounding much more composed and formal than his bouncy bronze-haired counterpart.

"So what are we playing today, Simon?" Baz asked for a second time, grinning because it was something only they'd know.

"Well, at first, when I was trying to think of games we could play, I was going for really intense, two-player versus games," Simon started off. "But then I assessed your personality, and decided that you didn't seem much like a crazy-obsessed gamer."

Simon looked to Baz questioningly, seemingly wanting to see if he had guessed right. Baz smiled.

"You got me, gaming is not my strong suit," Baz laughed.

Simon grinned. "Great! So I was thinking, what's a fun, introductory-level game that everyone can enjoy?"

He leaned over and grabbed something from behind the couch cushion.

"Animal Crossing!"

"Oh my god," Baz said laughingly and rolled his eyes. "Isn't that the game with the cute little fantasy animals that you literally cannot lose?"

"That's the one!" Simon confirmed, now pulling out his limited-edition Pikachu 3DS.

"Now, I'm gonna show you how to play on my file, but we can make you a file when you get the hang of things," Simon explained, and Baz leaned closer to watch.

Simon walks him through the different tools in the game, interacting with the townsfolk, and completing city projects for a long while, even though he knows he'll edit out the boring parts later.

"So you think you're ready now, young grasshopper?" Simon asks jokingly, and Baz rolls his eyes dramatically.

"Do I think I'm ready to play a game I can't lose? I don't know, I might need more time to prepare," Baz jokes back, bumping Simon with his shoulder.

"Hey, watch the sass, bucko, you're lucky to have as great a teacher as me!" Simon exclaimed, feigning offense. "Just let me take it back to the home screen so you can start your file."

Simon did what he said he would, faster than Baz would have thought possible, and soon Baz found himself on a train, talking to some kind of cat-man.

"Do I really have to talk to this guy?" Baz whined. "I wanna get to the designing my house part."

Simon whispered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "that's gay," before Baz punched his arm.

" _You're_ gay," Baz retorted, and to Simon, Baz's accented voice saying that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"Okay, first off, _you're gay_. I'm bi, there's a difference, and second," He paused for dramatic effect. "Nope, that's it, you're gay."

"Well, thanks for the PSA," Baz said, with a chuckle.

* * *

"So, Baz how do you feel about the game so far?" Simon piped up suddenly as Baz was harvesting an apple tree. The only thing Baz could feel, however, was Simon setting up a joke.

"I feel like it's been cute so far. It's been quite enjoyable," Baz said slowly, not sure where SImon was headed with his joke.

"Oh, okay, I just wanted to make sure, with it being Animal _Cross_ -ing and all," Simon said, grinning from ear to ear at his pun. "Get it? 'Cause you're a vampire?"

Simon poked Baz in the side, and Baz playfully swatted his finger away.

" _I'm_ not a vampire, but you're definitely a nerd," Baz replied with a smile.

* * *

' _I caught a dab! I'm not just dabbling anymore!_ '

Baz didn't look up from reading the message on the screen the game, but he could see Simon dab in his peripherals.

"That hasn't been cool for about 6 months, Simon," Baz reminded him.

"Then why is it making you smile so hard?" Simon asked, and his smug face was suddenly _really_ close to Baz's.

So Baz did the obvious thing and turned his head to kiss him, even though he'd been holding back because of the camera while they'd been filming.

Simon didn't seem to mind.

* * *

It was 8:50 P.M.

Baz was browsing the used game section of GameStop while the teenage employee behind the counter eyed him suspiciously. Baz knew the store closed at 9; he'd be quick.

He finds what he's looking for and brings it over to the counter to pay, and once he's done he grabs the bag and flips his hood up to protect against the slight rain that started sprinkling while he'd been inside. She speedwalks all the way to his apartment, but his jacket's still uncomfortably damp by the time he gets there.

In the dark that night, Baz plays his very own copy of _Animal Crossing: New Leaf_ by the faint glow of the lightning through his window.

 **A/N: I really am sorry this took so long! I'm just trash, there's no other excuse lmao school sucks I want to die**


	7. We'll Just Make It Up As We Go Along

A/N: Special thanks to my beta here on FFN, you-could-in-new-hampshire!

It'd been a week since Simon and Baz had filmed their first collab, and so far, it had been met with a fairly good reception. There had been hate, as always, but the overall consensus seemed to be approving, something Baz was inwardly grateful for.

Earlier in the day, Baz was eating a Pop-Tart on his couch and watching Chopped in his underwear, because he was an adult, and adults can do as they please.

However, even as one of the contestants started panicking because of a forgotten key ingredient (like one always inevitably does) Baz found his attention floating over to Simon.

They'd been texting every day since that last collab, and Baz kept thinking Simon would suggest they go out and do something. But he didn't, and didn't seem to be; which left Baz to do the asking out.

He wasn't worried about whether Simon would say yes or not; they'd passed the point where they had to worry about rejection.

No, the problem was that Baz didn't want to take Simon to do anything boring, which meant a little creativity was in order.

Baz immediately decided to rule out his go-to date idea, going to see a movie, both because nothing good was out, and because they'd already seen the only worthwhile movie in theaters (Wonder Woman) together last week.

Baz was absently watching a woman try to make ice cream in the last minute of the round when it hit him: the show!

His Aunt Fiona had sent him tickets to see some traveling violinists in a week, ("Go see them play, maybe then you'll learn something!") and Baz had been considering skipping out because at the time she'd given him the tickets, he'd had no one to go with, and you simply cannot show up to an event by yourself.

But, having recently acquired a sweet boyfriend who was sure to sit through a concert with him, Baz realized happily that he could show up after all, shame-free.

Grinning with anticipation, Baz grabbed his phone and shot a quick text to Simon.

Baz: So

Baz: As revenge for the gross sweaty hiking

Baz: How'd you feel about going to see the violinists perform next Friday night?

Baz didn't have to wait long for a reply.

Simon420: Shut up, you liked hiking!

Simon420: You wanna do it more

Simon420: Why violins?

Baz snorted, both at Simon's comment and at the ridiculous contact name Simon had given himself in Baz's phone.

Baz: My aunt sent me tickets. She says I need to learn something from them

Simon420: Learn what? Do you play?

Baz: Yeah. It's kind of a family tradition

Simon420: I get you. I'm pretty musical myself

Simon420: Well, in theory anyways

Simon420: l'm sure I could handle the triangle. And I play a mean kazoo so

Baz: Hm, I dunno. I think the triangle might be a bit much for you

Simon420: EXcUSe YoU?

Simon420: I've seen them played on TV, all u do is hit it

Baz: Okay fine, you could /theoretically play the triangle. Will you come to the concert with me?

Simon420: Oh, yeah, sure! This is gonna be lit!

Baz smiled at Simon's enthusiasm. He wasn't sure Simon knew what he was getting into, but as long as he wore a tux and didn't ask questions, everything would be fine.

Baz was about to put the phone away when he realized that he hadn't actually fixed the original problem, him wanting to hang out with Simon. So, before he put the phone away, he texted: 

Baz: Wanna come over today?

Simon420: Thought you'd never ask!

Simon and Baz hang out together in Baz's apartment for the rest of the morning, just cuddling and hate-watching their least favorite YouTubers together.

Around lunchtime, Baz moves the blanket off of himself and stands up, to stretch his legs.

"You want to go get lunch?" He asks Simon through a yawn. "I don't have much food in the house."

"Sounds good to me," Simon replies, also standing up. "Besides, it good for us to get out into the sun every once in awhile."

He stops and considers what he said. "Maybe not for you, though. I hear vampires and the sun don't mix."

Simon cackles at his own joke and darts away before Baz can hit him with a pillow.

"One more vampire joke, Snow, and I might just revoke all cuddling privileges," Baz threatens, as he catches up with Simon and wraps his arms around him in a squeezing bear hug.

As Simon squirms to try and get away, he replies laughingly, "But how does that make sense? That hurts both of us!"

"Yeah, but it'd hurt you way more if I didn't let you touch my hair, either," Baz states matter-of-factly, and Simon's eyes grow wide.

"You wouldn't!" 

"Test me." God, Simon loves that smirk. 

Simon sticks his tongue out. "Whatever, I don't even like your hair anyways! Let's just get going."

"You're such a little kid," Baz retorts as they passed through the door.

On the way to Panera, Baz pulls out his camera.

"Mind if I vlog?"

"'Course not," Simon replies, and fixes his hair with his phone's front camera. He wants to look his best for the people that'd be seeing him for the first time on Baz's channel, and Baz patiently waits for him to finish before getting started.

"Hello, everyone! I'm not dead, surprise, surprise!" He laughs, but Simon has heard his real laugh enough times to know it's not genuine. Knowing that he was close enough to Baz to distinguish his laughs gives Simon a warm feeling inside.

"Anyways, I'm here with Simon," Baz pans the camera over to him, and Simon gives a little wave and his most charming smile. "TheSnowShow on YouTube, and we're currently on our way to Panera Bread!"

Baz gives the camera a winning smile, before raising the camera up to fit both of them in the frame.

"Now wait, is it just 'Panera' or 'Panera Bread?' I never could figure that out," Baz asks, and looks over to Simon.

"Mm, I think it's technically 'Panera Bread,' but everyone just calls it 'Panera,'" Simon replies, grinning. "But there's no need to worry your silly British head over it. It's cute when you mess stuff up."

Baz laughs. (A real one this time!) "Well, I'm glad you think so, but I don't particularly like being left in the dark over here."

"Oh, sure you do," Simon replies nonchalantly. "Vampires love the dark!"

"Oh my- Would you stop with the vampire jokes!?"

Simon and Baz had just finished their lunch at Panera (and an especially stimulating conversation that turned into a mini-argument about what exactly seltzer water tasted like) when a loud alarm noise comes from Baz's phone.

Simon watches as Baz picks it up from the table, and curses.

"Simon, do you mind if we run by the store on the way back?"

Baz sounds, embarrassed, maybe? Simon isn't sure why, but he is willing to play... whatever it is off for Baz if that's what the situation required.

"Yeah, dude, it's no problem," Simon says, smiling and taking a sip of his Cherry Coke. "What do you need?"

"Groceries. Milk, paper towels, that sorta thing," Baz answers, listing them off on his fingers.

"Alrighty then," Simon says happily, smiling and standing up. "Let's roll out."

"...Get it? Paper towels? Roll?" 

"I got it, Snow."

"Okay, so, quick detour," Baz says, and it takes Simon a minute to realize he's talking to the camera. "We're gonna stop by CVS, because I totally forgot I needed groceries. Luckily, Simon kindly volunteered to come with, so maybe this won't be a complete flop."

"Yeah!" Simon exclaims. "This is gonna be fun!"

He turns and grins at Baz, before pointing up ahead.

"There's CVS!" He grabs Baz hand, making him laugh. "Let's go!"

"Okay, so I've got the milk and the paper towels, and now I just need some apples and-"

"Hey, Baz." 

Baz looks up, but leaves the camera rolling. "Hm?" 

Simon grins mischievously, and Baz can see that he's holding something behind his back. Baz looks at Simon suspiciously, but can't keep himself from smiling.

"What do you have behind your back?" 

"Oh, nothing," Simon says, drawing out the word. "Just some... blood for you to drink!"

He brings the item out from behind his back: cranberry juice.

"Shut the fuck-"

"Woah, watch your mouth, Baz, children watch your channel!" Simon giggles as he puts his hand over Baz's mouth. Baz pushes it off, laughing.

"Shut up, you curse on your channel all the time!"

"Yeah, but no one comes to my channel expecting decency," Simon replies.

"Mm. Fair point. Now put that juice in the basket. Cranberry's my favorite."

As Baz makes his way to the back of the store for the last couple items on his list, he passes by the makeup aisle without another thought.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Simon says, causing Baz to stop in place and turn around with a questioning glance.

"Look, makeup!" Simon points excitedly. He glances excitedly at Baz's blank expression, realizing that he didn't get it. "Let's do the 'boyfriend does my makeup challenge!'"

Baz seems reluctant. "Simon, last time I checked, neither of us were beauty gurus. How much experience do you even have with makeup?" He looks into the camera with an unconvinced expression.

"Literally none," Simon replies, unfazed. "But, Baz, it's not about experience, it's about, well, the experience! You just gotta have fun doing it, not care about the result."

"Besides," Simon continues, throwing mascara into Baz's basket, "Neither of us are beauty gurus, but you've got fairy lights in your room, and on YouTube, that's basically the same thing."

Baz laughs. Somehow, he realizes, he and Simon had passed into the teasing stage of their friend/relationship; their insults no longer have any venom behind them.

Almost… there… Got it!

Baz had turned his back for one minute, to read the label on a box of cereal, and Simon had seen his chance.

He'd successfully snuck a pack of M&M's into Baz's basket, and he rather thought he deserved a pat on the back for his rad uncover skills.

No ragrets, as the kids say, Simon thought proudly, trying not to look suspicious.

"Simon!" Baz says, looking up at the sky exaggeratedly.

"...Yes?"

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" Baz questions with a smile, waving the pack of M&M's in Simon's direction.

"What?" Simon asks, feigning astonishment and drawing out the 'a.' "I've literally never touched candy before in my life, literally ever. Totally was not me."

Baz stares at him.

"CVS goblins," Simon states, nodding his head seriously. "I hear they're brutal this time of year.

"Oh my god," Baz says, rolling his eyes (but still putting the candy on the counter.)

With anyone else, the ridiculous excuse and blatant lying would annoy him to no end. But for some reason, coming out of Simon's mouth, it just feels right.

"You know, you're like, a lifestyle guru," Simon remarks, staring at the ceiling.

He was laid out on Baz's forest green duvet, waiting for Baz to set up the camera and savoring the M&M's he'd successfully weaned off of him.

"What, like Zoella or something?" Baz asks incredulously, setting up his one light and making sure the camera was at the right angle. "All I do is talk about my life. It's not like I show other people how to better live theirs." 

Simon hums. "You kind of do," he says..

He offers no further explanation, leaving Baz to get the video started in confusion.

He uses his vlogging camera first, for the vlog he'd upload later.

"Hey guys, so, we just got back from CVS, and Simon has decided that we should to the 'boyfriend does my makeup tag,' even though neither of us has an ounce of experience using makeup."

Baz looks at Simon somewhat accusingly, but still lets his smile show.

"Okay, no, so first of all, yes, neither of us have any makeup experience, but that's what makes it fun!" Simon grabs Baz's hand and puts the camera on himself so he can speak. "Look, see, I've just Googled how to makeup, it'll be fine!" 

He holds up his phone to the camera for proof, and Baz leans forward in surprise. "Did you really? Now you're gonna know what you're doing!"

Baz gives a small pout, and Simon laughs. "To be fair, this stuff looks pretty hard. I don't think what I read is gonna help me much."

"Well, let's get started and see if that's true," Baz says, segueing into the outro. "Check for the video soon on me and Simon's channels, and don't forget to subscribe to us while you're there. Bye guys!"

Baz books at Simon and they share a small smile before turning back to the main camera and starting the main video.

Baz gets right into it. "Hello, everyone! As you can see I have someone with me here today that you might've seen on my channel before, TheSnowShow! How are you doing today, Simon?"

"I'm good, Baz! I've had a lovely morning so far, and something tells me it's about to get even better!"

He catches himself staring at Baz instead of the camera, so he shifts his focus back over to the screen.

Baz laughs. "Oh, I'm sure that's what you think, Simon, but you know what I think? I think that this challenge isn't going to go as well as you think it is."

"Don't be such a Debbie downer! This is gonna be great!" Simon reaches for a the CVS bag. "Let's get the show on the road!"

They sit facing each other on the bed, Baz sitting with his legs crossed and Simon on his knees.

"Okay…" Simon says, rifling through the bag. "Let's start with...foundation? Concealer?"

He looks at Baz, who shrugs and replies with a smirk: "Your idea, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up," Simon says, pouting. "Let's just do both."

As he smears the makeup on Baz's face, Simon comments to the camera.

"Okay, so, it turns out makeup is like, really fucking expensive, so we just picked shades that were like, a mix between our skin colors," he explains. "Which means it will be way too dark for Baz, and way too light for me. A lose-lose situation, really. Would you stay still?" 

"It's cold," Baz says, grinning as Simon grabs him under the chin to keep his face still. "I'll remember this when it's your turn, you know."

"Hm," Simon replies absently. He's actually starting to get into this, even if he could only do so much applying the product with his fingers (he didn't realize makeup brushes were a thing.)

"Uh," Simon said, suddenly freezing up.

Baz stiffened. "What?"

"I might have just accidentally given you highlights," Simon admits guiltily, and there's a moment where Baz looks like he's about to strangle Simon before he sighs.

"I'll go get a ponytail."

"Good plan."

Baz leaves to find a ponytail, which left Simon to entertain himself.

He moves to sit with his feet hanging off the side of the bed and shoves his hands under his thighs before kicking his feet into the air and humming a tune.

"Is that Britney? What is this, 2008?" Baz asks, leaning back into the room from the bathroom doorway. He was still tying his hair up, but apparently he just couldn't wait to call Simon out.

"It might be," Simon replies with a grin, not feeling shamed in the slightest.

Baz gives a laugh before stepping back into the bathroom.

"Womanizer is catchy! Sue me!" Simon calls after him.

When Baz comes back, Simon picks up where he left off.

"Right, so I think I'm done with the… base? I don't know," he says. "Anyways, next is the eyeshadow, that's not hard."

Simon opens the little palette of eyeshadows and holds the little brush with his thumb and index finger. He's sure it looks ridiculous in his giant hands.

"Okay, so there's only four colors in here, and three of them are browns, so that's probably what I'm supposed to use," Simon explains, showing the palette to the camera. "But I like this blue one so that's what I'm gonna go with."

He starts spreading it over Baz's eyelids before Baz could even open his mouth.

"Snow! You're gonna ruin it!" Baz complains, furrowing his brows.

"Don't worry! Blue is cool! You'll be the baddest bitch on the block."

"I think that's Britney's title," Baz says with a smirk.

"A Britney Spears reference?" Simon asks, mockingly. "What is this, 2008?"

"The next thing we've got is the blush," Simon says, holding up another plastic palette to the camera. "And we didn't buy any brushes, and… yep, all my fingers are dirty, so I'm just gonna rub the palette straight onto his face."

"Tell me," Baz says as Simon rubs the palette onto his cheeks. "Are you doing badly on purpose? Or is this really what you think is the right way to do this?" 

Simon laughs as he moves on to the other cheek.

"I guess I thought it'd be easier," he admits with a cheeky grin. "But like I said, it's about the experience! And I sure am having fun."

"Well, I'm glad one of us is," Baz replies, looking into the camera like he was pleading with it to take him out.

"So how'd I do guys?" Simon asks the camera when he's done, gently turning Baz's face to the lens. "I'll admit, it was a little harder than I thought it'd be, but I think I nailed it."

Baz raises a badly done eyebrow. "Did you?"

"...Yep."

There's a long pause where Baz seems to stare into Simon's soul, and Simon knows Baz knows he did pretty bad.

With one final, apologetic grin, Simon hands Baz a small handheld mirror and waits.

"Oh my god," Baz says in a voice that sounds both shocked a disappointed. "Simon, this is the worst thing I've ever seen."

"That's a bit harsh!" Simon protests, scooting closer to Baz so he can point out different parts of his face. "Look, I did the eyeliner pretty good, and that's the hardest part!"

"Simon, I look like an Egyptian mummy with all the eyeliner you put on me."

"I was thinking Egyptian daddy, but I guess that could work…"

"I will not hesitate to push you off this bed."

Simon mumbles something Baz can't hear. "What was that?"

"Yes, push me Egyptian daddy… ow! You actually did it!"

"Okay, so that was the 'boyfriend does my makeup' challenge! If you liked the way Simon fucked up my face, then please make sure to like this video and subscribe to Simon's and my channels, and go watch his video where I do his makeup! Goodbye, everyone!"

"Bye guys!"

Baz gets up to turn off the camera, and Simon returns all the makeup to the bag.

"So, what'd you think of your new look?" Simon asks evilly, and Baz looks at him as if to say, 'You know exactly what I think of it.'

"I think you could benefit from watching a makeup tutorial every now and again," Baz comments airily, before walking to the bathroom to get the makeup off his face.

(He has to scrub it off with a washcloth, because makeup wipes were another thing Simon didn't realize they'd need.)

Simon sits on top of the closed toilet and watches him clean his face.

"You know, I thought you looked way better when I got through with you," Simon says with a grin.

Baz laughs. "Come on, you dork. It's your turn to suffer."

"Hello everyone!" Simon starts off, waving at the camera excitedly. "As you can see, I'm not in my apartment today, and that's because I'm in…"

He paused so Baz can come onscreen. "Baz's room!"

"Hello everyone," Baz says, settling down on the bed next to Simon.

"Today, Baz and I are going to be doing something that's really fun and popular right now, the 'boyfriend does my makeup challenge!' Now, I've already done Baz's makeup on his channel, so click here if you wanna see that," He gestures to where he'd edit in a box for that later. "So let's jump right in!"

"Alright, so the first thing you did was concealer and foundation, and you did them at the same time, so that's what I'm gonna do, too," Baz explains for the viewers as he sticks his finger directly into the bottle. He smears it on Simon's face, obviously indifferent to streaks, or just quality in general. "As you can see, this is a highly advanced technique, that only a true makeup expert could perfect…"

"Come on, at least try," Simon whines, looking at Baz disappointedly.

"Oh, like you did for me?" Baz questions, raising an eyebrow.

"I did try!" Simon says defensively. "It just didn't work out that great."

"That's complete bullshit, but okay," Baz replies, giving in. "I'll 'try.'" He stops to make finger quotes.

Simon hits his shoulder. "Come on! Actually try!"

"Okay!" Baz agrees through a laugh, before showing his crossed fingers to the camera.

"Okay, so I'm just gonna do the blush now?" Baz asks in the direction of the camera. "I don't know a lot about how this works, so I'm glad Simon was the one to go first."

"If what I did is what you're using as reference, then I don't think this is gonna go very well," Simon says, with an expression that said 'yikes'.

"Don't worry. It's going fine so far," Baz says concentrating on applying the blush the best he could with his fingers.

"Don't jinx yourself," Simon warns. Baz ignores him, but, sure enough, only a few seconds later, Baz messes up

"Okay, so blush went fine. That's not the problem," Baz updates the camera, worriedly. "The problem is that I accidentally picked a really, really dark eyeshadow, and now I can't get it off?"

"What?" Simon asks, sounding surprised. "I better not look like a raccoon right now."

"Of course not!" Baz shushes him defensively. "You look… great?"

"Why did that sound like a question?" Simon asks, suspicious.

"It didn't. You look great. Time for mascara."

"Are you ready for the big reveal?" Baz questions, holding the handheld mirror out to Simon.

"Yeah, man!" Simon says, eagerly reaching for it. His mouth falls open.

"You did worse than me!" SImon exclaims before turning to look at Baz. "I thought you were actually trying!"

"I was! But every time I messed up, I couldn't fix it! Makeup is hard!" Baz whines..

"Okay… Well, guys, I know this video was a little different from what I normally do, but if you liked it, please subscribe to me and Baz, and leave a comment telling us what you thought. There's a video on his channel where I do his makeup that you're not gonna want to miss. Bye guys!"

"Goodbye!"

When Simon leaves Baz's house at 6:00 with a grin, a goodbye kiss, and the remnants of eyeliner still on his face, Baz gets to work editing. First, he flies through the vlog from earlier, since the only thing he had to do was piece the footage together.

The makeup challenge, however, takes a little bit longer, because Baz can't decide what to keep. He didn't want the video to be super long, but he really was enjoying watching it… maybe his subscribers would, too.

Baz finishes the video and uploads the finished products to YouTube. He sets the vlog to go up then, and privates the makeup challenge so he can make it public in a couple of days.

By the time Baz tweets the video and makes himself a mug of coffee, he already has some comments coming in, so he reads through them.

'Oh my godd I can't wait for the boyfriend does my makeup challenge!'

Baz Pitch Vlogs: Check back soon! It should be up this week.

'I remember when you were straight. Sniff. My small gay child's all grown up and dating a LETSPLAYER HEATHEN BOY WHAT THE FU CK'

Baz Pitch Vlogs: Sorry to disappoint you, mum! But you'll warm up to him.

'FUUUCKCKK THIS WAS SO CUTE I LOVE SIMON'

Baz Pitch Vlogs: same

Baz's phone goes off with notifications from Twitter, so he gets off YouTube for a minute to check.

It's a lot of people tweeting about 'SnowBaz,' which is apparently their ship name now. Baz has to admit, it's got a nice ring to it.

There's even a tweet from Simon's roommate, Penny, tagging both him and Simon: " TheSnowShow BazPitchVlogs I shipped SnowBaz before it was cool (cute vid guys!)"

After he replies to Penny ( APrettyPenny Bow down to Penny! Without her, SnowBaz wouldn't exist), he sends Simon a text with a screenshot of her tweet attached.

Baz: So SnowBaz is a thing now

Seconds later, Simon replies.

Simon420: !

Simon420: SnowBaz! That's so cute I love it

Simon420: I'm gonna go call Penny a hipster wannabe brb

With a grin, Baz gets up from his swivel chair and stretches.

Bow down indeed, Baz thought. She did a good thing.

A/N: Okay, so I was originally gonna include the concert in this chapter, but it got to be so long that I just cut it in half. The good news about that, though is that the next update should be quicker, because I already have some of it written. But anyways bonus points if you get where the "you liked it, you wanna do it more" came from lmao

Thanks for reading! Please comment if you liked it! Also, thanks again to my beta you-could-in-new-hampshire and my pal cal down in the comments for the concert idea!


	8. Concerts and Heart-to-Hearts

**A/N: Special thanks to my beta on ao3, newyearsevebaby02, and my FFN beta you-could-in-new-hampshire!**

Less than one day after they'd filmed together (and after Baz's daily vlog had gone up,) Baz's makeup challenge video had been ready to go.

Baz was very organized when it came to running his channel, and his videos often went up on the same day they were filmed. However, Simon, compared to Baz, was a flaming hot mess when it came to uploads, so then, four days later, he was just getting around to editing the footage down.

Baz had been kind enough to leave Simon alone about it, but Simon had known that Baz was the kind of person who didn't like sitting on videos. If it was done, Baz wanted to post it, and Simon had known that.

So he'd gotten to work.

He'd finished editing in record time (and inhaled an entire Monster in the process,) and had gotten a strangely nostalgic feeling of being back in 11th grade, procrastinating on papers and doing it all the last night possible.

He'd made a mental note then, to just go ahead and do the editing early when they did collabs in the future.

* * *

Simon was currently the only one awake in the apartment (Penny didn't tend to be up much around 4 am) and was in the process of doing something very important: Making brownies.

It was an unconventional time, sure, but Simon's body clock tended to operate on it's own schedule whether Simon humored it or not. He figured he might as well get some brownies out of his sleepless night.

As the brownies bake in the oven, Simon decides it'd be a great time to do some social media management, even if it is just to mess with people. He opens a new Google tab on his laptop, finds his own YouTube channel, and starts looking through the comments on the makeup challenge video.

'Ahhhhhh I can't believe this came out so soon! I thought you'd make us wait for sure!'

 **TheSnowShow:** Ha, this was actually kind of late! Baz was done editing his three days ago, but he had to wait for me to finish

'It's like you weren't even trying'

 **TheSnowShow:** I was! I swear it!

'So you finally made it into his bed lmao'

 **TheSnowShow:** You know it ;)

He scrolls through Twitter afterwards, replying to some of his tagged tweets, until a loud 'Ding!' reminds him that the brownies are done.

He nearly knocks over his chair at the sudden noise, and then he nearly burns himself trying to get the brownies out of the oven in the dark. But he finally manages to get the brownies out and onto the counter to cool, just in time for Penny to emerge from her room, looking disheveled.

"Oh, sorry, Penny, did I wake you? Sorry," Simon apologizes profusely. He really thought he'd been quiet, but then again he was sleep deprived. He's probably hearing the world through earmuffs at best.

"Kind of," Penny responds, taking a seat at the bar. "I could've gone back to bed, but I thought I smelled chocolate, so I came to investigate."

"You mean taste-test."

"Same thing, really."

"Well, they're not gonna be cool for at least 15 minutes." Simon says, beginning to walk out of the kitchen. "Wanna play Mario Kart?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Penny asks in her 'Mom voice,' and Simon groans.

"Can't the dishes wait 'til morning?"

"Can't you just do them now so we don't have to deal with them later?"

"I _guess_ ," Simon grumbles, stalking back over to the sink and turning the warm water on.

"So, while you're here, how's it going with Baz?" Penny asks in a teasing voice, resting her head in her hands.

"I don't know, Pen, how's it going with Micah?" Simon fires back, reveling in the instant blush his friend gives.

"It's going fine," she responds vaguely. "We have a date next week."

Simon hums. "I have a date tomorrow. I'm going to a violin concert with Baz."

Penny looks at him skeptically. "Wow, Baz's really gotten into your head. Since when have you been interested in classical music?"

"I'm not, Simon says, finishing up and drying his hands. "Not really. But Baz invited me, and I'll try anything once."

"Famous last words," Penny says ominously, hopping off the barstool. "Is it brownie time yet?"

"It's been like, 5 minutes," Simon responds. "But what the hell, half the fun is burning your tongue. Let's eat."

* * *

Simon slept through most of the day, after playing Overwatch for hours and finally going to bed at 7 am. When he woke up, he only had time to film one video before it's time to get ready for the concert.

He pushes his way to the very back of his tiny closet to find his tux, his one nice article of clothing and his dress shoes. Finding a tie was more of an issue, however; it took him 8 minutes to find one of the two ties he owned.

As he's attempting to tie his tie, he slowly makes his way into the living room, where Agatha is lying on the couch, reading a magazine with her arms in the air.

"Oh, hey, Agatha, so, I was wondering if you could do something to fix my under eye bags?" Simon asked walking into the living room. "It's just, they're really noticeable and you're good at this kind of stuff…"

Simon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Agatha looks up from her magazine with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

"Of course I'll help you, Simon," she said, sitting up properly. "After all, we can't have you going to a fancy event looking like you just rolled out of bed," she laughed.

Agatha sits down on the couch and says, "Wait here. I'd use my makeup, but we're not exactly the same skin color. I'll have to ask Penny if I can borrow hers and mix it with mine 'til we get a good shade."

"Borrow my what?" Penny asks, walking into the living room. "Sorry, I only caught the end of what you said."

"Your concealer," Agatha responds with a mischievous smile and an accusatory look in Simon's direction. "A certain somebody stayed up all night the night before they were supposed to attend a fancy violin concert with their boyfriend."

Penny rolls her eyes.

"Oh, for God's sake, Simon," she says exasperatedly. "Why didn't you go to bed after you made the brownies? Honestly, it's a wonder you can even take care of yourself."

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Simon responds indignantly. "Overwatch was having a skin event and I had to get the Genji one before the event was over! Besides Ags'll fix me right up. It'll be fine!"

He shoots her what was supposed to be a reassuring smile, but he ended up looking more like a crazed lunatic with the massive bags under his eyes.

"…Right," Penny responds with another spectacular eye roll. "Whatever you say, nerd boy."

Agatha strides back into the room, her clothes swaying elegantly around her, with Penny's concealer in tow.

"Alright, this'll only take a minute," Agatha says, separating the wand from the container.

Simon involuntarily looks up as his eyes start to water. Agatha skillfully applies the stuff under his eyes, a look of intense concentration on her face, and Simon can't help but admire how pretty she looks when she's doing what she loves.

No sooner has Agatha finished the look with a final part of the blender when the doorbell buzzes.

Simon's eyes go big as he shoots a panicked look at Penny. She'd known him long enough to know what he was thinking, and just what to say.

"Simon, you look great, Baz'll love you." She stands him up and pushes him in the direction of the door. Penny straightens his bowtie for him as she gives him a final peptalk. "You're at dashing young gentleman, Simon. Go knock him dead."

And just like that she retreats into the kitchen, leaving a nervous Simon to open the door.

"Dashing young gentleman, right, got it," Simon whispers to himself quietly, and goes to open the door.

When he opens the door, Baz is standing in the doorway, looking so good that it knocks the wind out of Simon.

Baz is leaning on the doorjamb, staring at his phone. When the door opens, he looks up, a piece of black hair falling into his face. He blows it out of the way.

"' _You know it, winky face?'_ " He asks teasingly, with a devilish smirk.

Simon (still in awe at the sight of Baz in a tux) feels his mouth open. He can't think of anything to say, but he's painfully aware of the blush forming on his cheeks.

"Hm, not so suave now," Baz notes after a moment, with Simon still gaping like a fish.

Simon for the life of him can't think of a good comeback, and goes with a feeble 'shut up' and a non-threatening smile.

Baz smiles back and leans in to kiss Simon's cheek.

"I'm just kidding. I thought it was funny," Baz says with a hint of laughter in his voice. "You look great, by the way."

From their spot eavesdropping In the kitchen, Penny and Agatha share an excited look, and Agatha whispers, "Aww!"

Back to his normal self, Simon replies "I know," with a cocky smirk.

Penny and Agatha look at each other again, but this time with disappointed (but not surprised) expressions.

* * *

On their way out of the building, Baz makes a vlog for his channel. He'd already started the video at his house, so he just needs to do a quick update.

"Alright, so I've got Simon with me now, and we're on our way to the concert! How do you feel, Simon?"

"Hm, not sure about the violins, but I definitely like you in that tux," Simon says, making a point to look Baz up and down. The he grins mischievously. "And I feel like you're a dork for liking this kind of stuff."

Baz laughs, ending the short video, and Simon's heart swells when he sees how wide Baz's smile was.

The trip to the building hosting the concert was longer than Simon thought, but Simon wasn't complaining. He loved car rides, especially at night, and having Baz's shoulder there for him to lean his head on only made it better.

When they arrived, Baz pays the driver and they follow the herd of well-dressed people up the stairs and into the building.

They stand in a fast-moving line for a moment, before having their tickets checked and being allowed into the auditorium. Their seats are almost right in the middle of the room, and Baz thumbs through the program as Simon gawks obviously at the intricate designs carved into walls and ceiling.

"Woah! Why is this place so fancy?" He asks, a tone of wonder and delight in his voice.

"Sit down, love, people are staring," Baz replies, tugging on Simon's sleeve with one hand and still reading the program in the other. "I've got no clue why it's so fancy."

"Maybe it's so you have something to look at before the show starts," Simon suggests. "Speaking of, when does this thing start anyway?"

"Well, we weren't exactly early, so it probably won't be very long before it starts," Baz responds, though he was a little unsure himself.

"Huh. I guess that's not so bad then. I was worried it'd be like when you go to the movies, and you get there kinda late, but there's still 30 minutes of commercials you have to watch before the actual show starts," Simon rambles, and Baz got the feeling that Simon was talking just to talk. And Baz feels inclined to let him.

"Do you remember our first date? That was at the movies. God, it feels like such a long time ago. We're all getting old and dying. What did we even see it? Oh, yeah, _Doctor Strange_. I've barely even thought about that movie since we watched it. Guess that says a lot about the film quality, huh?"

Simon falls silent as the lights dim.

As the curtains open, Baz leans his head onto Simon's shoulder and whispers into his ear.

"Yes, I remember our date," he says. "You were very charming. You're cute when you're flustered."

Simon starts to blush (whether from Baz or the memory, he can't tell.)

"I… what… No, I was not flustered, I was perfectly cool!" Simon whispers back defensively.

Baz hums, so Simon lets the subject drop.

He focuses his gaze on the violinists up on stage, who were beginning to play a dramatic tune.

Simon had never been one for classical music, or anything that wasn't pop, really, (with the occasional country song thrown in. He was from Texas after all) but he had to admit that there was something special about being here in this overly fancy auditorium, body heat from strangers warming the room, and his enthralled boyfriend gazing towards stage like it was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen.

 _I guess this is just another way this is similar to our first date,_ Simon thinks as he starts to watch Baz from the corner of his eye. Instead of being the main event, the violins had become background music to the look of wonder and Baz's eyes.

Simon would've never thought that wordless music could move someone, but the man sitting next to him was proof that something was happening there tonight.

Time somehow seems to simultaneously stand still and pass faster than Simon could wrap his head around, and as the violinists stand up and bow an hour later, and the curtains close and lights turn back on, Simon blinks, unable to believe it'd been that long.

"So what'd you think?" Baz grins, yanking Simon out of his daze.

"It was…" He struggles to find a word. Descriptions had never been his strong suit. "Magical. Wow, that was gay. Good thing I am gay. You're still a dork for liking classical music, though."

Baz laughs, and stands up. The place was already clearing out.

* * *

"Wow," Simon says as they stand at the top of the stairs, looking down at all the taxis and people from the audience getting into them. "I don't think we're gonna catch an Uber anytime soon."

Baz hums in agreement.

"I think you're right," he says, grabbing Simon's hand. "But I'm sure we can find a way to entertain ourselves until then."

He starts to lead Simon around the side of the building, and Simon raises his eyebrows at the back up of his head head trying to figure out what the dark-haired man was planning.

They stumble through the grass in the dark, until they come across a bench on a little hill, with the picturesque tree hanging over it all. They start off sitting on the bench, but after the conversation turns to the stars, they remove their nice jackets and lie on the grass side by side, looking up at space.

"Sometimes I really miss home," Simon admits suddenly, startling Baz. "Like, you could see the stars so well from there, and there's maybe a third of the stars here that you can see there."

"Well," Baz responds after a moment, "Maybe someday we can look at all those stars together."

There's a pause before Simon responds: "That's gay."

Baz's grin grows impossibly larger. "You're gay."

Simon laughs. "Your mom's gay."

"My mum's dead."

And then there's silence, because Simon is shocked and guilt-ridden at the same time, and Baz feels exactly the same way but for different reasons.

Simon couldn't have known about Baz's mom; Baz didn't know why he felt the need to say that so suddenly.

There's a pause, before they both say, "I'm sorry," at the same time.

Baz gives a weak laugh.

"I shouldn't have said that. Now you feel bad. I'm sorry," he says sincerely, and Simon scoots even closer towards Baz, even though at that point they were practically on top of each other.

"I'm still sorry," Simon says, and Baz can hear Simon's passion in his voice. "I know how it feels. my parents died, too, when I was little. I was in an orphanage for my whole childhood. But then I got into a boarding school when I was eleven."

"That's where I watched the stars, you know," he adds lamely, and nudges Baz with his elbow. Baz makes an amused sound, and leans his head onto Simon's.

"I'm sorry about your family, too," he whispers into Simon's hair, and Simon leans back to hold Baz's cheek.

"It was a long time ago," Simon whispers back.

"I know. But it still hurts."

* * *

That night, right after Simon had gotten home, he gets ready for bed. He feels really relaxed from the date, and he knew fixing his sleep schedule probably isn't a bad idea.

So Simon showers, put on pajamas, brushes his teeth, and gets in bed. And Simon swore that he'd never tell Baz that he played classical music on Spotify while he was falling asleep.

 **A/N: Haha wow that got sad at the end there. I was gonna end it with another "thats gay" joke then I decided to just leave it on this angsty note. And then I decided that was a Bit Much™ so I added something a little more lighthearted.**


	9. Pools, Pies and Pet Problems

**A/N: I googled 'emo cat names' and October came up and I had to use it cause I thought it was just so cute n clever lmao. Also sorry this is literally three months late I know his birthday was in june i promise I started writing it then guys work with me here**

 **(Also there's way too much texting, I know, I'm sorry.) Special thanks to my beta on ao3, newyearsevebaby02, and my FFN beta you-could-in-new-hampshire!**

Baz's laugh rings out off-screen as the unseen man pans the camera over to Simon, who's frowning exaggeratedly while dragging a brush through his hair. He stops to look exasperatedly at the camera before whining,

"Baz, do something!"

"Like what? Perform an exorcism?" Baz snorts, still holding the camera. "'Cause that's the only way we're fixing this mess."

Simon wants to be mad at the insinuation that his hair was so bad it must be possessed, but he finds himself laughing instead.

"You're the worst," he chuckles, and Baz turns off the camera.

"So, Baz says wrapping his arms around Simon's neck and hugging him from the back. "I was thinking, I have to go house-sit for my aunt this weekend, and since it's your birthday's coming up next week, I thought you might like to come with as a kind of early celebration."

Baz looks into Simon's eyes from the mirror, and Simon smiles reassuringly before Baz can get the wrong idea. Simon knew Baz was very observant when it came to facial expressions and emotions, but SImon also knew that Baz was quick to jump to conclusions.

Simon had been with Baz long enough to know when he was nervous, and the fact the Baz was so obviously searching for his reaction was a big clue.

He stops his brushing to pat Baz on the back. It's a little awkward in their current position, but he makes it work.

"Of course, you know I'd love to come," Simon says reassuringly. He pauses before continuing. "You don't have to stress so much, you know?"

Baz's face turns pink, though he'd deny it if you asked. "You could tell?"

Simon smiles. "I can always tell."

"…That's terrifying."

* * *

"So what do I need to bring to your aunt's house?" Simon asks, hopping onto the counter and making himself comfortable.

They were now a day away from their trip to Baz's aunt's house, and although Simon played confident around people, he wasn't always the best at dealing with new situations, and he was kind of freaking out internally.

"Just bring a swimsuit and whatever you need for an overnight trip," Baz says from his spot looking under the counter for something. "We'll leave as soon as my aunt gets home on Saturday."

"You know you have to get down if a customer comes in, right?" Baz asks amusedly, holding a spray bottle and a rag.

"What? I thought I was this location's mascot by now for sure," Simon joked, scooting over so Baz could clean.

"Well, you're definitely here enough to be considered for the part," Levi calls from the back where he was organizing the merchandise, and Baz twinges with annoyance.

"Stop eavesdropping, Levi, or get your own boyfriend to talk to."

"Come on, now, Pitch, you don't _own_ Simon's conversations," Levi points out good-naturedly (and literally, with a finger-gun), a grin ever-present on his tan face. "Besides, it would be cruel to leave Cather in pursuit of a boyfriend just to so I could get some more talking in."

Baz doesn't say anything; he's not annoyed anymore. He may lose his temper or raise his voice from time to time, but one thing he prided himself on was his ability to calm himself down fairly quickly.

"So, Simon wanna taste test a new drink we've got?" Levi asks suddenly, already grabbing a clean blender cup without waiting for an answer.

"Absolutely," Simon replies, turning himself around on the counter to watch the process.

Baz, finished with his cleaning, hops up to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

"It's a, um, special mixture…" Levi says distractedly, and Simon's brows furrow in confusion. Levi was hardly ever at a loss for what to say.

"Right," Baz jumps in. "If it's the one I'm thinking of, you're in for a surprise."

"Is this that unicorn thing?" Simon asks, suddenly interested. "I thought that ended months ago."

"It did. This is different," Baz replies as he reaches into his pocket for his phone.

"Hello, everyone, my name is Baz, and I'm here with Simon…" Simon waves, "At work, and Levi is currently making him a surprise drink."

Baz points the camera at Levi, who holds up a cup with a light brown drink in it and whipped cream on top.

"I actually just finished, Basilton," Levi says with a proud grin. "Drink up, Simon."

Simon takes the cup and obliges, always up for free drinks. However, he spits it out almost immediately into the sink beside him.

"What was that?!" He asks, voice climbing higher. He whips over to face Baz. "Did you know it was gross?!"

Baz laughs, shaking the camera.

"Yes, I knew, sorry, Simon." Baz's apology doesn't seem to make Simon feel any better; the laughter probably nulled it affects pretty well.

"For those of you at home, that was an iced green tea latte, which would normally be bright green, but I put a little food coloring in it so our poor Simon here wouldn't suspect anything," Levi says to the camera.

"It's pretty nasty," Baz says, and Simon, who had apparently forgiven him, pipes back up.

"Isn't it you guy's jobs to promote this stuff?" He asks good-naturedly.

"Promote, sure, not lie through our teeth," Baz laughs.

"Wow, that's shady," Simon comments, and then frowns at the disgusting drink in his hand. "...I don't have to pay or this shit, right?"

* * *

 **Simon420:** Hey

 **Simon420:** Wanna play a game?

Baz looks at his phone, which was sitting on his nightstand and currently illuminating his whole room.

 **Baz:** Simon it's two in the morning why are you awake

 **Simon420:** I could ask you the same thing

 **Baz:** No you couldn't I was trying to sleep!

 **Simon420:** Ohh sorry

There's a pause. Simon's 'typing' bubble disappeared, then reappeared.

 **Simon420:** Do you want me to leave you alone?

 **Baz:** No, I'm awake now. What game?

 **Simon420:** It's like truth or dare but without the dare cause I dont feel like getting up

 **Baz:** Nice. I'll play

 **Simon420:** Cool I'll start

 **Simon420:** Here's an easy one

 **Simon420:** What's your middle name?

 **Baz:** Um

 **Baz:** How many passes do you get with this game?

 **Simon420:** NONE come on dude it's the first question

 **Simon420:** You know if you don't tell me I'm just gonna google you right

 **Baz:** Fine do it then

 **Baz:** Here's my question

 **Baz:** Have you ever actually smoked weed? Cause if you haven't I think you've definitely appropriated weed culture by now

 **Simon420:** Okay first weed culture isn't a thing so shut it

 **Simon420:** And second, no I have not

 **Simon420:** You?

 **Baz:** Well

 **Simon420:** You have! Wow edgy teen alert

 **Baz:** Shut up it's fun

Baz lays the phone on his chest and closes his eyes as he waits for a reply. A couple minutes later, he gets one.

 **Simon420:** Oh my god I just googled you

 **Simon420:** And first you're killing it in your wiki pic good job

 **Simon420:** But what the fuck kind of name is Tyrannus Basilton Pitch III

 **Simon420:** Wait are you royalty? Are you that nigerian prince in my spam emails

Baz grins into the darkness, rolling his eyes in amusement.

 **Baz:** Oh my god no

 **Baz:** I'm not royalty, it's obviously a family name

 **Baz:** why are you like this

 **Simon420:** Look, it never hurts to check

 **Simon420:** Your turn btw

 **Baz:** okay um

 **Baz:** worst movie you've ever seen?

 **Simon420:** Passengers, 1000%

 **Simon420:** I thought it'd be a cool space battle and instead I got a two hour long explanation of Stockholm syndrome

 **Simon420:** hbu?

 **Baz:** I mean, I've never seen it

 **Baz:** but we all know the emoji movie sucked

 **Simon420:**!

 **Simon420:** whAT no that movie was gold leave my child alone

 **Baz:** I seriously hope you're saying that ironically

 **Baz:** it doesn't even have a real name dude wtf

There's another pause, and Baz is worried about what Simon could possibly be doing. A good couple of minutes later, he has his answer.

Looking down at his phone, Baz sees what is apparently Simon's attempt at communicating exclusively through emojis.

The gist was that emojis were good (phone emoji and a thumbs up emoji from Simon) and vlogging vampires sucked (camera emoji, blood drop emoji, middle finger emoji.)

 **Baz:** Look buddy I have a high tolerance for annoying. I work at starbucks for gods sake

 **Baz:** You don't get through pumpkin spice season without a poker face made of steel

 **Simon420:** Oh yeah. Damn it

 **Simon420:** I thought that'd annoy you

 **Baz:** Nope, you're gonna have to try harder than that

 **Baz:** We should really go to bed now

 **Simon420:** What are you the bedtime police

 **Baz:** Simon, for real. Go to bed. You don't need to be grumpy for our trip tomorrow

 **Simon420:** Okay, okay. Goodnight. See you tomorrow.

 **Baz:** Goodnight. See you.

* * *

"Okay, I'd totally be Harry if we lived in the wizarding world, right?" Simon asks conversationally.

They had been driving for a grand total of two minutes, and apparently Simon was already bored and trying to spice things up with an argument.

"Isn't the strongest wizard usually the hero?" Baz asks coolly.

"Well, yeah, but I'm the strongest one of us that isn't an evil vampire so…" Simon looks at his nails in a 'sorry-I-don't-make-the-rules' kind of way.

"…Get your feet off my dash."

Simon complies with a grin. "Face it, you're definitely the Draco Malfoy type. You and the snake house would get along great."

"Well, I suppose I could do a whole lot worse than Slytherin," Baz says with a smirk. "After all, I could be in Gryffindor, like you and Harry, poor sap."

"Hey, Gryffindor is _cool!_ " Simon says, defensively patriotic in the way only a Harry Potter house can drag out of a person. "A lion could could _step_ on a snake, no problem."

"How many snakebites can a lion withstand, I wonder?" Baz asks rhetorically, tilting his head, and knowing Simon wouldn't have an answer.

"Some! None. I don't know." Simon sinks into his chair, defeated.

Baz hums contentedly. The argument he had just won was completely pointless, sure, and could hardly be counted as a real argument, but Baz would be lying if he said he didn't love being right.

"Where's your camera?" Simon asks suddenly, tilting his head. "You always vlog when you do something interesting."

Baz shrugs. "I thought it'd be rude to exploit your birthday for views so I left it at home."

"What! No!" Simon protests. "I wanted you to film it! It'd be fun to look back on later!"

"You should film it then," Baz suggests, stopping at a red light. He turns to look at Simon. "Your phone camera isn't as good as a vlogging one, but it'll get the job done."

Simon thinks about it for a second. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He pulls his phone out from his pocket and pulls up the camera app. "I've never really vlogged before though, so don't make fun of me if I do it wrong."

"Alright," Baz agrees, returning his focus to the road. "But I don't think you'll have much of a problem."

"'Ello, e'ryone, it Si'on Snow, an' today Bay'z teachin' me 'ow tah vlog," Simon starts with a grin. He turns to Baz. "How's my accent?"

"...Wonderful."

* * *

Several bad renditions of Taylor Swift songs later (Simon couldn't remember if it was 'starring in' or 'startin' up your bad dreams') Baz pulls into a 7/11 parking lot and they get out, stretching their legs.

"Good old E-Z Mart," Simon says nostalgically, filming as Baz opens the door for him. "I've gotten many an after-school snack from here."

"Hm," Baz says, making his way to the chip aisle. "I thought your go-to snack was cheese balls?"

"Well, yeah, food-wise," Simon agrees. "You know me so well. But no, I was talking about the slushies!"

"What slushies?" Baz asks, confusedly, and Simon gasps.

"I forgot you've never been in here!" He grabs Baz's arm and practically drags him across the store to the drink side and hands Baz a cup and a lid.

"Alright, pick your flavor," Simon says.

"Um, blue," Baz responds, starting to fill the cup.

"Wait!" Simon says when the cup is half full, and Baz freezes. "Now the other one."

"You want me to mix them?" Baz asks, scandalized.

Simon nods solemnly. "You have to. It's a rule."

"I find that hard to believe," Baz replies dryly. "But fine."

Slushies made 'correctly' Simon and Baz pay and make their way out of the store.

"So how was your first E-Z Mart experience?" Simon asks, facing the camera towards Baz.

Baz stops sipping long enough to reply. "Um… six out of ten gas station slushies."

Simon laughs before stopping the camera.

* * *

When they walk in the door, Simon takes in the decor and nods approvingly at a collection of plates with birds painted onto them and posed neatly on a shelf.

"Kingfishers. Nice."

Baz gives him an 'of course you'd know that' kind of stare before setting his bag down on the kitchen table. An orange, black, and white-patched cat hops onto the table as well, and Baz scratches it behind the ears momentarily as Simon makes his way over.

"Who's this?" Simon asks, grinning, reaching out his hand to pet the cat as well.

"This is October," Baz introduces them seriously. "October, this is Simon. Be nice to him."

"Why October?" Simon asks, curious. "Your birthday's in September, I think."

"It is. We've all had our emo phase,' Baz explains darkly. "Some just express theirs in strange ways."

"Like though the naming of their cat?"

Baz points. "Exactly."

Suddenly, Simon lets out a loud sneeze, and October, spooked, hops off the table.\

"Wait, October, come back and get in my vlog!" Simon exclaims, grabbing his camera and chasing after it. "Pets are great clickbait!"

* * *

Later, when they're two episodes of _Game of Thrones_ in, Simon's sneezes come once every five minutes, and every so often a tear would run down his face from his irritated eyes.

"Okay, what's going on?" Baz asks alarmedly when he notices, putting his hand under Simon's chin to get a better look.

"I'm- Well, I'm kind of allergic to animals," Simon admits, slowly, and Baz looks horrified.

"Why didn't you say that? I would have put October outside!"

"It's not like I'll die or anything! And I love animals, allergies can't stop me." He sneezes three more times, and Baz just looks at him, at a loss for words.

"...I can't believe the things you think are a good idea sometimes," Baz says, hitting the play button.

"Some might call that the mark of a genius," Simon says, grinning proudly.

"Not I," Baz replies. "I call it foolishness."

"An endearing foolishness?"

Baz laughs and wraps his arm around Simon. "Sure."

* * *

Before they new it, the burning part of the day was over, and Simon and Baz could safely make their way out to the pool (with sunscreen, of course,) and Simon couldn't have been more excited.

They walk out, hand in hand, the sun warming their faces, and Baz takes a mental snapshot so he can remember the moment forever.

Baz feels a pang of disappointment when Simon suddenly pulls his hand away, but it quickly fades when he sees Simon start to size up the pool for a jump.

"You ready for this?" he asks excitedly, reminding Baz of a hyper child.

Simon starts backing up for a running head-start; Baz is suddenly more than a little nervous for his well-being. But before Baz could say anything, Simon had began running and jumped into the pool, making the biggest splash Baz had ever seen.

Baz slowly approaches the pool, looking down, trying to make sure Simon didn't hurt himself. But suddenly (with another great splash) Simon pops out of the water, scaring Baz enough to make him jump.

"That was awesome, right?" he laughs, wiping water from his eyes enough to open them. "Oh. Did I surprise you?"

Baz tries to smile. "A little," he admits.

"Sorry. I'll give more warning next time. Now come on in!" Baz had sat down when Simon surfaced, with his feet and legs in the water. Simon grabbed his arm and yanked him into the pool with another laugh.

"Hey!" Baz exclaims when he resurfaces, shaking his hair like a dog. "Didn't you just agree to give me more of a warning?"

He shoves Simon down underwater for a moment, and he's suddenly reminded of the way he and his siblings used to have arguments just like this. Simon comes up, grinning, no remorse apparent on his face.

"Okay, okay! You drive a hard bargain, pardner," he laughs, talking in an exaggerated accent. "But for real. Warnings. Got it." He taps his head with his finger in a 'remembering' motion.

Simon makes his way out of the pool again, and stands on the table next to the pool.

"Bet I can't do a double front flip?" He asks confidently.

Baz's eyes bug. "Simon! You'll hit your head!"

"Wot are ye, me mum?" Simon asks, impersonating Baz's accent. "Just make sure you film it in case I die."

"Don't say that!" Baz exclaims, but gets out to grab Simon's phone anyways.

When Baz's in position, Simon takes his jump, but only manages one flip.

"Ooh, better luck next time," Baz tells him when he surfaces, and Simon pouts.

"Come on, that was still impressive, right?"

"Nope, sorry. I was promised a double front-flip, and a double front-flip that was not," Baz teases.

"Tough crowd," Simon tells the camera dryly, taking his phone back from Baz.

* * *

When it starts getting dark, Simon and Baz retire from the pool.

Baz starts setting up a fire in the fire pit, and Simon sits on a pool chair and watches. "What does your aunt do that she can afford such cool stuff?"

"Ha," Baz says, in a falsely amused tone. "Nothing. It's family money, been around for generations. She only works when she feels like it."

"Oh. Cool," Simon says, because he's really not sure what to say to that.

"I've got to feed the animals and water the plants now," Baz says after a moment, breaking the silence, and Simon is inwardly grateful.

"Oh, yeah," Simon says, craking a smile. "The whole reason we're here!"

Baz smiles back. "Yeah. Care to join me? It'd go faster if I were having fun doing it."

"Dude, you had me at 'feeding animals.' I'm _so_ in"

* * *

Baz introduces Simon to each of his aunt's exotic pets and plants individually (cautiously, after the little allergies stunt Simon pulled with October earlier) and after each one Simon finds himself growing a little more attached.

"Baz, she's so cute, I'm gonna cry," Simon says, in reference to Baz's aunt's parakeet, Petunia. Petunia's feathers were many different pastel shades, all blended together like a splendid Monet painting, and although Simon wasn't much of an artists, he could appreciate beauty in all it's forms.

"Simon, that's the third time you've said that," Baz states amusedly, watering a plant in the corner of the room. "You even said it about the pufferfish."

" _Yeah_ , because Fluffy was _beautiful_ , and she deserves the world," Simon replies haughtily, and Baz just returns to his watering, deciding he'd rather let it go, no matter how wrong Simon was about his aunt's one-eyed pet.

"Alright, I think that just about does it," BAz says, surveying the room. It was the last one they'd had to do, and it appeared now that the chores were done.

Simon woefully says goodbye to the parakeets, and he and Baz make their way back upstairs to get ready and go to bed.

* * *

Baz's aunt arrives home at three in the morning, effectively scaring the hell out of a sleeping Simon and Baz, so later that morning (at a much more acceptable time to be awake) Baz and Simon say their goodbyes.

"Goodbye, Aunt Fiona. I'll come visit again soon," Baz says, tightly, and Simon gets the impression that formalities were much more prominent in Baz's household than his own.

Not that he was paying too much attention to them, of course. He had a cat to say goodbye to.

"Bye, October," Simon whispers, holding his camera in one hand and petting the cat with the other. "It's been fun, bud."

The cat meows and jumps off the table again.

"Damn it, October."

Simon puts his phone away and makes his way back over to where Baz and his aunt had finished their goodbyes.

"Goodbye, Simon. It was nice to meet you," Fiona says shortly.

"It was nice to meet you, too," Simon replies back, as friendly as he could. He puts his hand out for her to shake, and to his relief, she actually takes it.

As soon as Simon and Baz are out the door and on their way out to the car, Simon turns to Baz and says, "I think that went well."

Baz laughs. "Yeah, I think so, too."

They start the drive home, and it's more or less quiet, save for the sound of the _Moana_ movie track, which Simon had so graciously put on. It stays that way until they're about two hours out from home, and Simon spots a really shady looking pie… stand? On the side of the road.

"Simon, if we stop here we're gonna get murdered," Baz argues, brows furrowing.

"No we won't, Baz, look, he has a _sign._ Serial killers don't put up pie signs," they make eye contact. Simon raises his eyebrows. "They just don't."

Baz lets out a colossal sigh, but Simon already knows he's won (whether it be from logic or the _Legally Blonde_ quote, however, the world may never know.)

"Fine," Baz huffs as he pulls into the dirt lot. "Let's go get murdered."

"Hey," Simon says, smiling at the old man sitting behind the white fold-out table. "Do you have cherry?"

"Actually," the guy responds, pulling out a pie box, "That's all I have."

"Okay, then, sounds great," Simon responds with another smile, trading the pie for a ten dollar bill. The guy hands Simon his change and two plastic forks, and before they know it, they're on the road again.

"See? We're still alive," Simon states, happily shoveling pie into his mouth, and Baz grimaces.

"Yeah, this time," he replies.

"Aw, don't be such a Debbie Downer," Simon coos, and Baz just looks at him pointedly. "Here, have some pie. That'll cheer you up."

Baz accepts the pie (Simon feeds it to him while he drives) and between discussions about hot YouTube trends and twitter, they finish the pie within the hour.

By then, it's after dark, and neither of them are talking anymore. The only sound is the quiet music dancing on the radio, and the atmosphere of the car is peaceful and content.

Baz thinks SImon is just staring out the window; however, when he actually glances over to check, he laughs at what he sees.

Simon is asleep, face squashed against the glass, and Baz wishes he weren't driving so he could take a picture to remember it.

Baz wanders the streets around the area where he thinks Simon's apartment might be for 10 minutes before deciding to just give up. It was too late to call Penny as well. Baz cuts through the streets until he gets to his own, and parks in the designated garage and carries their two suitcases in before returning back for Simon himself.

Simon's not light, but Baz isn't weak, so the trip goes more or less without a hitch. (Luckily, though, Baz's apartment isn't far from the garage, or the trip might not have gone as smoothly as it did.)

Baz's apartment is too small for a guest room, so Baz tucks Simon into his own bed, wondering why on Earth he was such a deep sleeper.

Baz stands over him for a moment after, however, considering his options. His bed wasn't quite big enough to fit both of them with space between them, which normally wouldn't be a problem but it seemed rude to Baz to squish both of them on the bed together when there was a perfectly good couch in the living room…

 _Fine then,_ Baz thinks. _Let no one say I'm not a gentleman._

Neither of the boys are early risers. Even though Baz stayed up later, however, he still managed to wake up before Simon, the Human Sleep Machine.

Baz wasn't big on breakfast, normally, but

"What do Texans eat for breakfast?" Baz wonders to himself, out loud. A quick google search tells him about something called 'grits,' and Baz says 'fuck it' to that idea all together.

Baz decides to stick with something he'd made successfully himself a whole two times prior: scones.

 _A true British classic_ , Baz thinks to himself, and sets off to work.

* * *

Simon wakes up to the smell of something burning.

It's faint, so he doesn't recognize it right away; he's more concerned with the bed he's sleeping in (the one that's not his own) and the absence of his vampiric-looking boyfriend.

Arching his back, Simon frees himself from the light pink sheets and runs a hand through his hair, reminding him to check his appearance before making an entrance.

With a quick glance in the mirror above the desk before he made his way out, Simon hurries to Baz's kitchen.

As it turns out, Baz's scones were not meant to be.

He still wasn't quite sure where he'd gone wrong- he'd followed the directions as best he could- but something had, apparently, gone very wrong, and now his scones were more scorched.

Simon's voice comes from the doorway.

"What's burning?"

"...My scones."

"Dude, the fuck, I thought you were British? Where's the scone skills?" Simon asks with a laugh coloring his voice.

"Do I look like fucking Delia Smith to you, Snow?" Baz asks back, balancing a large bowl on one knee while attempting to stir what was left of the scone batter.

There was a confused silence on Simon's end.

"Who?"

"Oh my god. Chef, writer, TV star? None of that rings a bell?"

"Oh, like british Martha Stewart?"

Baz looks deeply offended, then conciliatory. "I _guess_."

Deciding to let it go, Baz starts something new, the ultimate fail-safe: pancakes. No one could screw that up, right? He pours the batters into a circle on the pan, and stands over it with a spatula, watching intently.

"Okay, step aside, Mr. McBurns-A-Lot, it's time for Simon Snow, pancake master to impart some expertise," Simon says with a grin, sliding in his socks to a stop in front of the stove. "You just… take some chocolate chips…"

Simon drops chocolate chips into the cooking pancake and covers them with batter on his fingers. After a few minutes, he flips the pancake onto the plate, and hands it to Baz with a fork.

"Just like that? No syrup?" Baz asks.

"Don't need it," Simon replies confidently, and Baz skeptically takes a bite.

Simon was right; the pancake was definitely sweet enough on it's own, and it tasted good, at least once Baz got past the feeling of a dry pancake, that is.

Simon examines his face, scanning for approval.

"I like it, Simon, pancake master," Baz admits with a smile.

Simon pumps his fist. "Hell yeah! Pancake master!"

Simon and Baz sit down to a breakfast of pancakes and laughter, and Baz can't help but think about how happy he was that this dork had walked into his life.

 **A/N: Thanks again to my betas, newyearsevebaby02 and you-could-in-new-hampshire, and thank you for reading!**

P.S. I made fanart (Yes for my own story) for chapter 7 and it's on my tumblr if you wanna see: www. tumblr blog/ kaigoryu. Just take out the spaces :)


	10. Yellow Birthday

Simon wears a small smile and a noticeably happy attitude as he walks the hall to his apartment door and slides in the key.

He's humming to himself (borderline singing. The kind that annoyed Penny when she'd try to read) because he was on his way home from Baz's house, and Baz brought out the best in Simon. Simon hoped it was the same vice-versa.

There's a click, and he pulls open the door, ready for a nap-

 _"Surprise!"_

"Holy shi-"

"Happy Birthday, Simon!"

Simon jumps back into the hall as people jump out at him, loudly. He makes his way back in momentarily, though, grinning and shaking his head and already reaching out for hugs.

Penny's first, 'cause he's sure she planned all this- and because his best and most long-time friend deserved some thanks and praise.

"Penny, this was so nice, thank you!" Simon says earnestly, wrapping his arms around the shorter girl.

"It was my pleasure, Simon," Penny responds with a warm smile.

Next was Agatha, and Simon smiles at her as he holds his arms out for a hug. Agatha brings him into a tight embrace before wishing him a happy birthday.

And finally was Baz, (God knows how he arrived) who handed off his camera to Agatha before hugging Simon. Simon, enjoying being shorter than someone for once, buries his face in Baz's chest.

"How'd you beat me here?" He wonders, voice muffled from Baz's shirt.

Baz smirks proudly. "I asked your Uber to take you the long way."

"Of course you did," Simon laughs, finally letting go if Baz's torso. "You guys did a great job decorating," he comments, taking in the banner, balloons, and holographic streamers hanging from the walls and ceiling.

"Hey, that was all them," Baz states, putting his hands up for emphasis so Penny didn't kill him for taking credit. "I was just the distraction."

Simon lets out a laugh and looks to the sky with a grin. "So I've been being played this whole morning!"

Baz lets loose a shrug.

"Basically, yeah." Then he smirks. "Constant vigilance."

Simon's eyes light up. "I knew you'd come around!"

Penny rolls her eyes as she passes out plastic party plates. "Calm down, Mad-Eye. Let's eat cake!"

The cake is a calm light-blue color, with white accents around the bottom. A simple red bird is in the top right, and the words "Happy Birthday, Simon!" are written in cursive across the top. It looks good, but has the distinct style of a homemade cake; Simon could tell one of his friends has put a good deal of time into it.

Penny silently hands him a knife and nods her head in the direction of the cake; Simon wastes no time in cutting it right through the middle.

When he takes the slice out he sees that it's chocolate, Simon's favorite.

"How'd you know?" he asks openly to the room.

Penny pipes up (so it was her who'd made the cake.) "Simon, I don't think I've ever had a single chocolate baked good in this house that you haven't stolen and eaten."

Simon just finger-guns. "Guilty as charged."

They make their way over to the couch with their cake, and Simon and Baz sit squished together, even though there's plenty of room.

Simon tilts his head. "You didn't want cake?"

Baz shakes his head. "I don't like chocolate," he states plainly.

"But… what… I don't get you," Simon replies, shaking his head too, in disbelief.

Baz shrugs and smiles.

"Plus…" he adds deviously, "If I don't eat cake, I can't turn my entire mouth blue."

"Ugh," Simon groans, knowing he looked like a fool.

"Who's up for cards?" Agatha asks, digging a deck of them out of the side table by the couch.

Everyone perks up- card games had been the new fad among their friend group lately, replacing Mario Kart.

"BS?" Simon asks hopefully, and Penny responds with, "Whatever the birthday boy wants."

Simon fist pumps the air and moves to deal.

Baz loses the first game; Simon knows him too well, and although he could always fool Penny and Agatha, all it took was one look from Simon for him to decide, "Um, no, pick that up," and Baz would have to comply.

Baz was actually okay with losing today, though. Simon should win on his birthday anyways.

When the game ends Agatha stands, and everyone looks at her curiously, so she explains. "I've got an audition to make at 2," she says, kissing Simon on the top of his head on her way out the door.

"Have a good rest of the day, Simon," she wishes, and then she's gone.

"And I'm gonna run to the store," Penny says, standing up to go find her purse. "I need some final ingredients for dinner tonight."

"Guess it's just us then," Baz comments with a raised eyebrow, and he and Simon make their way up the stairs, hand in hand.

They lay on Simon's bed, staring at the ceiling for a few moments, just listening to each other breathe before Simon breaks the silence.

"You know what we should do?" he asks excitedly, catching Baz's attention.

"What?"

"Here, hold on."

Simon pulls out his phone and the YouTube app before typing in a keyword.

"We should watch SnowBaz compilations!" he looks over at Baz, and is then surprised when he sees confusion on his face.

"Okay, I get that we're SnowBaz, but what're they compiling?" Baz asks curiously, leaning his head on Simon to watch the video.

"Anything, from what I can tell," Simon replies, thinking. "Let's see… there's 'SnowBaz Funniest Moments', 'simon and baz being dorks', 'SnowBaz sneezing compilation…'"

"Who'd want to watch a minute long montage of us sneezing?" Baz interrupts, and Simon clicks it.

"Me, let's see!"

They stare, transfixed on the screen, as three clips play from Simon's various gaming videos, one clip of a sneeze from Baz's periscope, and one final clip of Baz sneezing in their Animal Crossing collab.

In the video, Simon's voice can be heard exclaiming, "Jesus, that's loud!" and the video ends.

"That's cyberbullying," Baz complains, but the video still made him smile. He still couldn't believe someone actually cared enough to make that, though.

"Oh, hush, like you haven't said worse," Simon says back, moving on to the next video.

"Oh my god," Baz says suddenly, and Simon pauses the video ( 'snowbaz being uber gay compilation.') "I got you a present."

"What is it?" Simon asks excitedly, and Baz laughs.

"You don't actually want me to tell you, do you?" Baz pulls the blanket off and detangles his legs from Simon's before standing and walking out of the room.

He comes back a moment later, with a package wrapped in sparkly light green paper. He trades the package for Simon's phone and starts filming.

(It's a habit to film things like this now, without them ever being sure whether it's for the vlog or just themselves.)

Simon's eager to open the gift, but he spares a moment for excited eye contact with Baz, who gives him a knowing smile and a thumbs up from his free hand.

When Simon tears the paper off, he sees it's a lemon-yellow polaroid camera, one Simon himself had been admiring at the store about a month back.

"Whoa, Baz this is so cool!" Simon exclaims, turning the box over in his hand. He wouldn't have picked yellow for himself, but somehow, knowing that Baz felt it the right choice had made it actually _be_ the right choice.

"And, you know, it's cool you remembered," he adds, sheepishly, knowing Baz would understand. Baz gives him another smile, though Simon can't tell if it's truly a new one or if he'd never stopped.

"I'm glad you like it, Simon," Baz says, carefully, and Simon knows then that Baz had been nervous to give it to him. Simon wonders if that's why he gave it to him alone…

Simon's thoughts are interrupted by the sudden need to kiss his boyfriend.

"Come here," Simon says, and plants a kiss on his lips.

"This," he says, pausing and looking into Baz's eyes for dramatic effect, "Was an awesome gift."

Baz breaks into a grin now, and Simon can see his pointy teeth. Simon doesn't even have to make a vampire joke; as soon as Baz saw where Simon's eyes went, he knew what Simon'd say.

"Not a vampire," he states simply, and Simon falls back onto the bed, laughing softly.

They sit together for a moment, on the bed, with Baz on Twitter while Simon attempts to set up his new camera.

It takes him a minute to mess with the settings, and put the film in right, but he gets it soon enough and pulls Baz in for a picture.

"I was so not ready!" Baz complains fallen phone forgotten in his lap with the screen still on, and Simon cackles with glee.

"Too late!" He grabs the picture off the top of the camera and shakes it. (He's got no idea if that actually helps or not, but he's seen it in movies so many times it can't hurt.)

He sees the beginnings of the picture and grins because it's terrible, but that's the beauty in polaroid pictures. You can't take a million 'til you get an instagram-worthy shot; you get something much more _real,_ and Simon wonders if Baz thinks of that the way he does.

 _Probably not,_ Simon thinks mischievously, _Considering the way Baz looks in this picture._

The picture hasn't developed all the way yet, but Simon stuffs it deep in his pocket so Baz can't see (Much to the dark-haired man's displeasure.) Simon wants it to be a bit of a surprise.

Simon jumps off the bed and runs downstairs to get a sharpie. Baz looks at him curiously when he walks back in, because, Simon realizes now, he hadn't given any explanation for leaving.

He pulls the polaroid out of his pocket and they look at it together.

Baz reacts first, with an "I hate it," at the same time Simon starts his, "That's amazing."

They make eye contact and both begin to laugh, because the picture is somehow so bad and yet so good at the same time.

"What's the caption?" Simon asks eagerly, pulling off the pen cap with a satisfying click.

"How 'bout 'Birthday boy and sewer goblin?'" Baz suggests sarcastically, with a roll of his eyes, and Simon considers it.

"That's a little mean." He looks at Baz contemplatively and gives a mischievous smirk.

"...But it's true, so it'll work."

"Hey!"


	11. Simon And Baz, Sittin' In A Tree

The next time Baz sees Simon is the next morning, when Baz walks in and Simon's on his laptop.

"What'cha doing?" Baz asks pleasantly as he makes his way over to the couch.

"Baz, you're about to be dating the actual most fashionable person on the planet," Simon says confidently, which (naturally) puts Baz on high alert.

"What do you mean?" Baz asks cautiously.

Simon turns his laptop around and shows Baz what's on the screen; a man-purse for his polaroid camera, made of the most horridly-patterned fabric Baz had ever seen.

"Oh my god. That thing is so ugly." Baz is apparently so repulsed he can't find the words for a better insult.

" _Oh, that's so ugly!"_ Simon mocks in a high-pitched voice and an offensive accent. "Okay, but I've literally seen you wear Crocs, you can't come for me."

Baz shrugs. "Touché."

"It's ugly," Simon muses, and Baz can't tell if he's talking to him or himself. "But it's functional… but it's super ugly. Oh, fuck it."

"So what do you want to do today?" Baz asks casually, as Simon makes some decisive clicks on his laptop.

Simon, caught off-guard, responds distractedly, "Um… Hike?"

"Okay."

And that's that.

So Simon gathers his supplies, and Baz borrows some hiking clothes ("No offense, but everyone could tell you didn't know what you were doing last time." "...None taken, I suppose.")

and they Uber to the hike site.

"Okay, so there's good berries and bad berries," Simon starts for the third time, explaining animatedly with his hands. He'd been trying unsuccessfully for the last twenty minutes to explain what was and wasn't safe to eat, and Baz couldn't care less.

"I'm not planning on eating _anything_ out there, Snow," Baz comments huffily. "I reckon I'll be fine."

"Aw, come on, get in the wildlife spirit! Besides, it's easy if you know what you're doing…" he looks at Baz from the corner of his eye, and sees Baz peering back with a skeptical expression.

"Just repeat what I've told you so far, I'll say if it's right," Simon concedes in good-spirits.

"'Leaves of three, let it be?'" Baz responds sarcastically, one eyebrow raised.

"Okay, technically yes, but I didn't tell you that," Simon responds exasperatedly. "Baz, what if I _die?_ What if I just fucking keel over and you gotta fend for yourself? What will you do!"

"Calm your dramatic arse, I'll be fine," Baz responds with a smile and a quick eye roll. "Google was invented for a reason."

"Well I can't argue with that, but you should at least know some basic bird types," Simon says, already switching gears.

"I don't need to know, I've got you," Baz responds, and holds up a finger when he sees Simon open his mouth. "And before you reiterate, if you keel over I sure as hell won't be trying to identify any birds."

Simon closes his mouth.  
-

From the time they step out of the Uber to the time they get to a path, Simon is bouncing on his feet, obviously excited.

As they cross over from sidewalk to dirt, however, he takes on a more serious expression, with hands on his hips, obviously scoping the place out.

"What the fuck are you looking for, it's literally just trees and dirt," Baz asks, a confused smile lingering on his face.

"I'm looking for a path of course!" Simon responds like it's obvious. "Do you really wanna try off-roading on your second-ever hike?"

Simon gives Baz a look, like, ' _You know you can't handle that.'_

And Baz responds, "Pff. Yeah, we could, I'm a hiking _master._ "

Simon pats his cheek. "No you're not, babe. Follow me."

And off they go.

It's a nice day out, and once again Baz finds himself enjoying the hike. After some time, they come across a particularly nice tree in the path, and Simon stops abruptly.

"I'm gonna climb it," he says determinedly.

"I… what?" Baz says. "No."

"Yep," Simon shoves his bag Baz's way, feet already moving in the direction of the tree.

"Okay, you know that thing you said earlier about keeling over?" Baz asks, slinging Simon's bag over his shoulder. "I think there's a new most likely way for you to die."

Oh hush, this'll be great," Simon says, already three branches up. "I did this all the time as a kid, only fell… 4 times. I think. I don't remember but it's not important."

"Um, it definitely is but that's okay." Baz resigns with a sigh, and puts his hand on his hips to wait.

"Baz, come on up!" Simon soon calls from halfway up, and Baz eyes the tree like it was holding a knife.

"Why? I can see you fine from down here," he states simply.

"Oh, but it's more fun if we both do it," Simon complains. "It can be our new hideout!"

"It's not a hideout if it's not hidden," Baz grumbles, but follows Simon up anyways.

It takes him twice as long as it took Simon (he'd certainly never done that sort of thing as a kid) but eventually he makes it to Simon's branch, where the first thing Simon does is reach for his bag.

"Why'd you give it to me if you wanted it up here anyways?" Baz asks, eyebrows furrowed.

"I didn't know I wanted it up here until I got here," Simon responds, pulling his camera out. He adjusts it to the bright light/outside setting and makes sure to give Baz fair warning this time. "Smile!"

Baz does, and Simon eagerly take the picture when it comes out. Baz smiles at Simon's use of his gift. He was glad he made the right choice.

"Oh, come on!" Simon exclaims, showing Baz the picture. Baz takes a look; his own face looks fine, but Simon's blinking.

"Oh, that's good," Baz laughs. "That's karma right there."

Simon frowns at him, but Baz can tell he's containing a smile.

"How'd you even manage that, you were the one taking the picture!" Baz asks once he's calmed down.

"I can't help it, I blink! It happens!" Simon defends himself, sending Baz ino laughter again. "Come on, let's just get down now."

Baz goes first and makes it safely out of the tree. Simon, however, is a little more reckless, and decides to hop out with six feet left to go.

"Ow, holy shit!"

"Simon, why did you do that! Honestly, I turn my back for one minute…"

"Relax, mom, I'm fine, I just stubbed my toe," Simon grumbles back.

"Don't you 'mum' me, I'm not the one that just jumped out of bloody tree!" Baz waves his hand in Simon's direction.

"Well, technically you did too, you just waited longer to do it…" Simon risks a look up at Baz, who seemed to be having some sort of migraine.

"...I'll stop talking."


End file.
